Sunday, May 13, 2007

Happy Mother's Day

I know there are lots of people worrying about me today and I am so appreciative of your prayers. I have been dreading this day but as usual, God has chosen to give me a new perspective rather than allowing me to wallow in self-pity.

Though the typical human gestation period is 40 weeks, it took us around 208 weeks to birth Lillian. During that long wait, God reaffirmed our desire to be parents. And after that long wait, we were blessed with the perfect child for us. Without Lillian, I wouldn't have anything to celebrate on this Mother's Day. I am grateful for the gift of being her Mom.

Lance Armstrong has often said that cancer was the best thing that ever happened to him. I'm not sure I can agree. Perhaps I would feel differently if Lillian had survived. But I do know that God has expanded my view of the world through this battle with cancer. God gives the parent's of kids with cancer unique insight. He teaches us the depths of love and the value of an instant. I am thankful for the gift of wisdom that cancer has taught me.

Through broken hearts, God is once again reaffirming our desire to be parents. Should we be blessed again with another child, I know that I will be a better Mom for having loved Lillian and for having journeyed with her through cancer. So I look to the future with hope. I miss Lillian desperately everyday and know the ache will never go away. But today I am nothing but thankful for the gift of being her mom, the gift of wisdom that cancer taught me and the hope of someday being blessed with another perfect child to love. I guess it is a happy Mother's Day afterall. I love you Lily-bean!


Anonymous May 13, 2007 at 3:14 PM  

What a beautiful picture of the two of you. I was worried about you today. Your perspective is amazing and I am glad you have been replying to my posts. Thank you so much, Love, Andrea

Anonymous May 13, 2007 at 5:43 PM  

Thanks for writing today. I was thinking of you today as I had a few child few moments while I was mowing the lawn. It was nice to hear your perspective and to see a picture of you with Lillian. I miss seeing the pictures of Lillian and you guys. Sometimes Joshua and I go through her website to see them. Beth

Jennifer May 13, 2007 at 7:55 PM  

I have been thinking of and praying for you today. I know I've said it before, but your strength and grace are such an inspiration to me...and they help me to be a better mom.

katie Newsom May 13, 2007 at 10:57 PM  

A Mother's Day wish for you, that you will see Lillian in your dreams tonight and hold her as tight as ever, that your kisses on her sweet face will be as real as if she were here. I wish for you that dream tonight. Happy Mother's Day, thank you for making me a better mom. Night.

Anonymous May 14, 2007 at 12:08 AM  

I don't know another person who could have said it better. What a beautiful blog entry. Thank you for your inspiration & faith. A Mother you are from the day you & Lillian were united and a Mother you'll forever be.
You have been on my mind all day and I couldn't go to sleep until I read your entry. Andrea said it best..."your perspective is amazing".
Sending you a "big hug" this Mother's Day, looking forward to doing that in person very soon.

Anonymous May 14, 2007 at 9:56 AM  

Lori.....What a darling picture of you and Lillian. Your view of life and outlook for the future shine brightly due to your tremendous love and faith. With love, Kathy H.

The Tucson Gang May 14, 2007 at 11:57 AM  

Wow Lor-
You are amazing, the fact that you can put to words so eloquently your thoughts and feelings. You are an amazing Mother and I look forward to the day that you have that opportunity again.
Miss you all!

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