Monday, September 29, 2008

Weekend Getaway

Thanks for the many sabbatical ideas and offers. After spending the weekend at my Aunt & Uncle's cabin in Eastern Oregon, I'm convinced that everyone should own a vacation home. Or rather, everyone else should own a vacation home that I can visit. There is just something about getting away for the weekend that refreshes your soul.

Admittedly, I didn't expect such a relaxing getaway. After our last road trip, I was dreading a repeat. I thought for sure that Ian would scream the entire time and then not sleep in the pack and play resulting in an all around catastrophe (or sleeptastrophe as the case may be). Then he got another cold the weekend before our trip which merely cemented my feeling of impending doom.
But I tell ya, that kid was a model traveller!
He slept most of the way to the cabin. He played and ate enthusiastically. He slept soundly for (most) naps and through the night in his pack and play. He got a little fussy on the way home and I'm not ashamed to say I broke out the portable DVD player to give him a half hour Baby Einstein break. Then we stopped at a park and gave him some grub, a fresh diaper and some wiggle time. This well timed break tuckered him out and he spent the balance of the trip snoozing away. MODEL TRAVELLER!
Now if only gas prices were as cooperative...

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Welcome... my new blog. Isn't it purty? I wanted to give my precious a face lift but I also felt the need to smarten up. This is the WORLD wide web my internet friendz. That means anyone can read my humble little blog. And as more and more new friendz arrive (hi!), I want to make sure I'm not linking to anyone who doesn't want complete strangers reading their shtuff. Not that I don't trust YOU. You are totally awesome. And pretty! It's them I don't trust. Shhhh. As for me, I like strangers reading my shtuff. (hi again!) I think. For now anyway.

So the ball's in your court. Do you want me to link your blog? Then leave a comment with your url. Oh, and you can leave a comment telling me how purty my new format is too. If you want. No pressure or anything.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Say it with me now...sab-ba-ti-cal

I have a question for you my internet friendz. Something wonderful and magical is going to happen in my humdrum little life next year. Due to my ten years of dutiful service, my company is giving me this mysterious thing known as a SABBATICAL! Ooooooo. Ahhhhhh.

Apparently this great company o mine will grant me 5 consecutive weeks away from work to do whatever I want. Paid! (Well, I do have to pony up half of the time out of my PTO bank but who cares? It's 5 whole weeks of work-free bliss!) All this just for showing up for the last 10 years. Or at least most of it. I have taken 2 maternity leaves and a medical leave to care for Lillian. But graciously, they don't seem to mind those hiatuses. Hiati? Hiatians? Whatever.

Which brings me back to my question.

If you had 5 weeks to do whatever* you want,
whenever you want, what would you do?

*There are a few parameters to keep in mind in this scenario. 1) Assuming the inventors have not cut you in on their new found windfall, you are not independently wealthy. 2) You have a husband and an 18-month-ish old baby who will probably want to tag along on your sabbatical adventures. 3) You have an entire year to plan for this which probably means you'll change your mind several times before ultimately sitting around the house watching daytime television for 5 weeks.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Things that make me go hmmmmmm

Inventors of the world, prepare to get rich. I'm offering you free ideas here. FREE! All you have to do is make them. I ask nothing in return. Unless you want to toss a couple bucks my way. If you got rich from one of my ideas, giving me a cut would be the right thing to do. I'm just saying that you should let your conscience be your guide. Anyhoo, here are my fantastic ideas:

  • I would like a push button device to unlock my house. It exists for my car door, just copy that. How hard can it be? Honestly, this one is a gimme.
  • For extra credit, I would really like to be able to touch the front door knob and have it unlock. Again, it exists for my car.
  • OH, even better! (I'm on a roll now!) A push button opener for my front door. So when I'm carrying a baby in one hand and groceries in the other, I can just walk in the front door. It exists for mini van doors and trunks. Copy it. This can't be rocket science.
  • This one is for the car people. I appreciate your innovation in door unlocking technology. I really do. And I am particularly fond of that cool back up camera thingy. So why not have a camera in the front too? So when I'm pulling into a tight parking spot, I can see how close my front bumper is to that car in the neighboring spot. Just a thought.
I think that's it for now inventors. Unless my internet friendz have some more ideas. Anyone? Bueller?

Thursday, September 18, 2008


I nicknamed Kennedy "Superstar" because of all of the stars she has met and because...well, she just shines. Honestly. Those of you who know Superstar can back me up on that. Those of you who don't know Superstar (yet) can watch her light up the small screen in this segment from AM Northwest. I'm so proud of you Kennedy!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Missed Connection

I got the finger last night on the commute home. I love that. There's nothing like a stranger telling you that you're numero uno. Apparently the fact that she didn't stop at her red light and turned in front of me causing me to slam on the breaks as I dared to proceed through my green light earned me the aforementioned bird. I responded by throwing both hands in the air as if to say, "Nice move. I would have stopped at that red light but hey, that's just me! Not you though. You are a rebel. You live on the edge. And who am I to question your choices? Nobody, that's who! Go right on ahead friend." She must have misunderstood me because she quickly followed up with that lovely suddenly-mash-your-breaks-so-they-think-they're-going-to-rear-end-you-thing that I enjoy so much. I thought "Oh, you rascal. You almost got me that time. Hahaha!" Unfortunately I turned at the next light (after it turned green of course) and she went straight so that is where our friendship ended. *sigh*

I'm thinking about posting a missed connection on craigslist. Wanna help me write it?

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Who are they trying to kid?

What happened to truth in advertising?

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

BTS Traffic

Ahhhhhhhhh! I hate this time of year. When my 8-mile commute suddenly jumps from 15 minutes to a full and torturous 45 minutes. All because kids the future leaders of these United States need an edumkation? Can't they get that book learnin' during off peak hours? Think about it. They could sleep in. (win) And I could drive to work in a reasonable period of time. (win)

The real question, after that glorious 3 month hiatus called summer, do I manage to forget that this is the norm 9 months out of the year?

Stupid traffic.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Stop the silence

There are so many things we just don't talk about. I'm a fairly private person. When I crash over those bumps in the road, I retreat inward to manage through them. I think that's a fairly common approach. Which means that many of us have been through similar challenges...but never know it.

Infertility is one of those silent struggles in life. Though it's becoming more openly discussed, there are still so many that internalize their struggles.

Most experts define infertility as not being able to get pregnant after one year of trying. And even with that narrow definition, the infertility club has a large membership. (12% of women in the US aged 15-44 in 2002 according to the National Center for Health Statistics of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.) How many more have tried for 3 months or 6 months or 11 months unsuccessfully? It's an astonishingly large club. Though a quiet one.

To have so many people come along side me after Lillian died has been a blessing. None more than those who have also lost a child. We speak the same language. We just get it. I can't help but think it would have been equally as helpful to have an equivalent community during the height of our fertility battle. So as an offering to those of you whose dream of parenthood has been delayed, I give you a glimpse into my story and what it has taught me.

  • I have been pregnant. It only took one try.
  • When we lost that child at 7 weeks gestation, my doctor tried to console me by saying "at least we know you're fertile." Famous last words.
  • Miscarriages aren't instantaneous. They can take days. It may sound irrational but it felt like I was slowly losing pieces of my baby.
  • I had been working in the yard on a hot day when the miscarriage started. I thought it was my fault.
  • I have recorded my basal body temperature daily for a year. That involved a lot of "holding it" first thing in the morning.
  • I have bitterly regarded unplanned pregnancies and the unfairness of it all. Then quickly dismissed this as unproductive. Who am I to determine what is fair?
  • I have peed on countless ovulation predictor sticks. "Holding it" first thing in the morning while waiting for your temperature and then opening the ovulation predictor package is double the fun.
  • I have prayed and prayed and prayed for a baby. God answered my prayers in His perfect time. I wanted them answered in my time.
  • I have taken Clomid for six months. It gave me migraines and dizziness but no baby.
  • I have cried over Johnson & Johnson commercials. "Having a baby changes everything." Thanks for the reminder.
  • I have had two Hysterosalpingography tests. Both of them were normal. Both of them caused painful cramping.
  • I have attended baby showers where I was simultaneously thrilled for the expectant mom and devastated by my own delayed gratification. And then felt guilty for being jealous.
  • My cervical mucus has been admired more than the Mona Lisa. That may be a slight exaggeration.
  • Men and women process infertility grief much, much differently.
  • After a year of tests and trying and disappointment and heartache, I was done with fertility stuff. DONE.
  • I know pregnancy is really important to some people. It just wasn't that important to us.
  • I wish adoption wasn't viewed as the last resort. It wasn't for us.
  • Adoption has it's own set of struggles and challenges. They have been worth it for us.
  • There are multiple roads to parenthood. Only you can pick the right road for you. That's why I've added "for us" in the last few bullets.
  • Though I'm a mom, I'm also still infertile. And it still stinks.

What has your road to parenthood involved? And what has it taught you?

Monday, September 8, 2008


Right next to the Halloween aisle, I found this...

It's September people!
The paste hasn't even dried on the first school projects yet.

Friday, September 5, 2008

This is where the end of cancer begins

We used to have such crazy dreams.
The kind of dreams that brought us together, made us not mere mortals, but a movement.

We used to dream we'd get to the moon.
And we were crazy enough, fanatical enough, relentless enough, to get there.

We dreamed we'd split the atom.
Make smallpox and polio whispers from forgotten history books.
Make technology infinite, individual.
Connect the world.

All the unbelievable and the impossible,
all the can't do and the never will, we overwhelmed them, we overpowered them, we conquered them.
They said no and we, well,
We said yes.
We stood up.
We stood up and changed the world.

Stand up when everybody else sits down
Stand up when it's easier to turn away
Stand up for everyone who can't rise anymore

When the answer seems impossible, stand up
When the dream is right within our reach, stand up
When the powerful refuse your call, stand up

The moment is now and the time has come to stand up.
One out of every two men
One out of every three women
will face these diseases we call cancer.

Our sisters, our brothers, our fathers, our mothers,
our husbands, our wives, our children.
Our very best friends and those we've yet to meet.

One person every minute, one person in a moment gets lost, gets stolen, gets taken away.

We are a tapestry of lives touched and brought together by a terrorist we can actually find. And in the time it's taken to read this, three more Americans have died.


This is where the end of cancer begins.

When together we become a force unmistakable.
A movement undeniable.
A light that cannot dim.

When we take our wild impossible dreams
And make them possible
Make them true

When together we rise as one
When we stand up
When we Stand Up To Cancer.

This is the manifesto of the organization called Stand Up To Cancer. Tune in tonight at 8pm on NBC, ABC and CBS to learn more about them. The cure is coming!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Stirring the Pot

After a long, relaxing weekend, we all seem to be feeling better. My cold was a quick but intense one while Ian's cold is dragging on for over a week. He seems to be in good spirits despite the cough and congestion so hopefully that means he's not feeling too bad.

Ummmm, that's about it. I'll try to salvage this post by stirring the pot. So, what do you think about Sarah Palin accepting the Republican Vice Presidential nomination while knowing her 17-year-old daughter is pregnant?


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