What a morning.

It's only 9:15am and already this day has served me a giant crap sandwich. Being the generous person that I am, I thought I would share it with you. If I'm going down, I'm taking you all with me. Haha, just kidding. Maybe.

It all started when I reluctantly crawled out of bed and stepped on the scale. Normally I wait until after my workout to weigh myself but I recently read that the number may be higher post exercise and I wanted to test the theory.

Let me pause to mention that on "The Biggest Loser" this week, a contestant who had immunity gained 2 lbs. Convenient, right? Though she did a commendable acting job, I was convinced that she was water logged for her immunity weigh-in so that she would have better numbers next week. Not a bad plan and I wouldn't blame her a bit.

Okay, enough about her, let's talk about me some more. So I hopped on the scale and through bleary eyes, I was horrified to see the number. I gained 2 lbs?! How is that possible? I redoubled my efforts this week with daily work outs and stellar eating. SO HOW COULD I GAIN WEIGHT? Suddenly, I had a new found empathy for that Biggest Loser contestant. Perhaps she wasn't acting after all. And then my clearly rational mind decided that I must be harboring 5 lbs of...um...pee. Yes, that's the problem, I just need to go potty and work out and the number will be reasonable again.

After visiting the loo, I dragged my pitiful self back to the playroom for a workout convinced it would make the difference. But when I returned to the scale, I found basically the same stupid number. [insert numerous 4-letter words here] My initial response was an immediate craving for potato chips and donuts with a chocolate milk shake chaser. Huh, I wonder how I ended up weighing over 200 lbs? I resisted that temptation but boy, oh boy am I discouraged.

And that's the bread in this crap sandwich. Now onto the creamy middle.

The morning's scale shenanigans meant that I was running late. So I ran out to the car to find the windows were frozen over. I turned on the heater and popped the trunk to get out the ice scraper. Before I got to the ice scraper, I grabbed the paper from the driveway as I do everyday. I toss it onto the porch before I leave for work so that it's more convenient for the hubby. I know, I know, I'm wonderful. Anyhoo, I grabbed the paper, walked over to the porch and gave it a toss. The world started moving in slow motion as the paper flew into the air and ricocheted off the light fixture. My hands flew to my mouth in horror as the globe cover came crashing down. All I could do is shake my head and return inside to get a broom. Did I mention that I was running late?

The final layer in the crap sandwich came shortly after I arrived at work. I screeched into the parking lot, ran to my office, dropped my purse, grabbed my bag and dashed to my first meeting. As soon as I entered the room, my new boss stood, walked around the conference table and quietly asked me to leave. Again. It's a long story but suffice it to say that my work doesn't naturally fit with any one group so they moved me over to report to the HR organization. Needless to say, there is a lot of confidential information passed around at an HR staff meeting. Which means that I am typically asked to leave from about 90% of the meetings. Normally I just shrug and exit without a second thought. But after the earlier blows, this one hurt.

And that is just the first 3 hours of my day. Frankly, I'm a little worried about what more is to come!

I don't know about you but I'm going to have a soda and chips & salsa with my burrito for lunch. Screw it. I need something to wash down this crap sandwich.