Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Holy Moley

Have you voted? I sure hope so because this post has nothing to do with politics. Frankly, I for one need a distraction from this frenzied anticipation. And nothing shouts "distraction" like a good skin abnormality story. Right?

Once upon a time, I shared my oh-so-lovely varicose vein with you. (Stupid exercise.) And now I bring you another installment of "what the heck is that?" Yes kids, it's time to share another of my...uh...unique features.

Okay, here goes. I'm moley.


There I said it. Although if you've seen me in person, this is not exactly breaking news. Whatever.

For the rest of you, I'm not moley in a cute Cindy Crawford kind of way. No, mine are more like the creepy talking variety...




Somehow I managed to escape my childhood without getting teased about the handful of moles on my face. I guess when you're tall, gangly and acne-ridden, there is plenty of other material to grab hold of. Or maybe they didn't appear until I was older. Or maybe they're not that noticeable. Nah, that can't be it.


Regardless, no one has ever really commented on them and since I see them everyday, I generally ignore them as well. That's not to say that they don't bug me. Just not on a daily basis.


That is until Lillian came along. Actually I think my nephews noticed them first. Those innocent little cherubs would look at me intently, extend a chubby little finger and try to twist the moles right off my face. Lillian did the same thing. Obviously these wise children realized those bumps didn't belong there.


After the initial hey-that-doesn't-belong-there response comes the next phase: acceptance. Like most children, around 18 months, Lillian began pointing and listing my features.

"Ears." point.
"Nose." point.
"Eyes." poke (defensive maneuvers are recommended)
"Mouth." point.
"Mole." point.

Wait, what?


Yep, the moles became just another bump on my face for her to point out. And suddenly, I noticed them. And I wanted them gone.

Well, life managed to take priority over vanity and I haven't done anything about it. But suddenly I find myself bracing every time Ian looks at me intently. Someday soon he's gonna reach out a chubby little finger and try to twist one of those little buggers off my face. I wonder if that will be enough to send me to the dermatologist for a little slice and sew appointment. Or maybe I'll manage to move to the next phase: acceptance.

6 comments:

Becci November 4, 2008 at 1:37 PM  

I think you're beautiful!!

Margi November 4, 2008 at 2:47 PM  

Oh my gosh, Lori. That is so funny! I feel the same way about my skin tags, except I often think of the Austin Powers moment with the MOLE. Check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rAk4pE0Vuw

The Tucson Gang November 4, 2008 at 5:53 PM  

I can relate - the skin tag on my neck bugs the heck out of me - when I'm forced to remember it's there ie. Mommy, what's that? Anyhoo...we've all got them sista...things we'd like to change - but I am too chicken to go in and have the darn tag removed from my neck - so for now...I deal! :-)

Beth November 4, 2008 at 7:10 PM  

You crack me up! I had never seen that clip! I typically don't notice those things, so I was clueless until you mentioned this. Sorry I was focused on your little man when I was visiting :) But I do have to say my gram (God love her) has a huge hairy talking mole, so this cracked me up. Traci I hear you about skin tags. I have had many over the years, but the cool thing about them over moles is you can actually pull or cut them off :) Yes crazy I know, but sometimes I just get sick of them. They just seem to be barely hanging on, so I get the guts to snip. My mom told me and I am not sure if there is medical advice backing this up but that skin tags show an increased risk for cancer. Who knows if it is true, but it freaks me out every time I find one.

Anonymous November 4, 2008 at 8:50 PM  

Hey Lori, I'm with Becci--I think you're beautiful too. I'm your mother and I've never even noticed a mole. Just wait a while and the wrinkles will hide it!! HA HA --Love, Mom

Anonymous November 11, 2008 at 1:43 PM  

Ok - so I know I'm behind - but...what mole(s)? Seriously,I haven't seen you much lately, but if I was looking for you in a crowd and had to give a description - moley wouldn't make the list.

Love you whole-ly Moley!
Wendy

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