Friday, August 1, 2008

Slaying the Dragon

Thousands of tiny germ villagers march down my throat carrying torches and pitchforks hell bent on evicting the dragon from my chest. As I currently have the lung capacity of a 90 year old asthmatic smoker thanks to the dragon, I urge the germ villagers forward on their quest. Never mind that they are not being very cautious with their implements of eviction and have scalded and pierced my throat with a vengeance. A small price to pay for the ability to breathe.

Alas the germ villagers are as slow as they are clumsy. After days of marching, they still have not reached the dragon. And now for whatever reason, be it ADHD or the need for fashionable, eco-friendly clothing, they seem to have paused from their journey to grow voluminous cotton plants in my throat. So that every breath is now simultaneously labored and ticklish. But I take solace in their organic gardening practices.

The dragon grows fatter as he feasts on mucus and wayward germ villagers. I feel the brunt of his weight on my chest. I must get those germ villagers moving. On to your quest you lazy vagabonds! On to glory!

I have a cold.

I think it's affecting my brain.

And I'm not even medicated. Yet.


Maverick's Momma August 1, 2008 at 1:06 PM  

Umm... maybe you should start your meds. :)

I have a dragon too. Fortunately s/he is a mini-dragon who isn't putting up much of a fight it seems. No cotton fields here. Just lots and lots of kleenex consumption. And it's not even eco friendly kleenex (I am sure there is such a thing -- 7th gen must make tissues, I would expect).

The Tucson Gang August 1, 2008 at 3:57 PM  

Ah's're not supposed to have a cold. Guess it's a sign you need to sloooowww down a little sista! You've been running non-stop for awhile. Take some time for yourself..get some rest and slay that dragon!

I'm sure we'll be having a dragon infestation very soon - since school starts on MONDAY! UGH!

Get well girlfriend!

Jennifer August 1, 2008 at 5:31 PM  

I'm so sorry that you're sick. I know it's NO FUN. Especially with a little one.
Good luck getting the best of that dragon!!

Becci :) August 1, 2008 at 6:44 PM  

you are so funny! WRITE A BOOK, so i can live off of your wealth!!! ;)

Sara August 2, 2008 at 8:08 AM  

Battle on, fearless soldier! Sleep deep as thine white-blood cells feast upon a smorgasboard of mucus and sputum...(I have waited for the day I could write "sputum" with impunity, thank you)

Emily August 3, 2008 at 7:39 AM  

Hehehe you're hilarious. But that stinks that you have a cold. I hate getting those - and in the summer. That's no fun. Hope you feel better soon, try to get rest.

Krissy Keelan August 5, 2008 at 2:20 AM  

wow, where have I been??? I'm so behind on your blog. I think I need that e-mail notification program you were talking about once long ago so I know when you do a post. I was way behind but read through to the relay post. I'm bummed you have a cold and couldn't attend the Newsom's party on saturday night. The kids had a great time there. Now we're planning for McKayla's party this weekend and have been super busy. If you are free sunday afternoon/evening, we'd love to have you join us in Celebrating McKayla's big day. It's her 3rd birthday celebration as well as her Make a Wish. We'll have her play structure put together in the backyard for the party!! We're all very excited.

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