Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Binge Day

Is it only Wednesday? It can't be. Unless it's next Wednesday because it can't be this Wednesday. Ugh. It's been a looooooong 3 days.

Monday I found out that a co-worker was diagnosed with Lymphoma.

Tuesday I found out that another co-worker was diagnosed with Colon cancer.

Then I e-met 2 new kids battling cancer who are friends of friends.

And then I found out that another kid, who we thought beat the same tumor as Lillian, is fighting it yet again.

I went home last night feeling utterly defeated. Add to that four dozen oreo truffles calling my name and will power suddenly seemed unimportant. Two truffles and a giant bowl of popcorn later, I still felt lousy. Lousy and fat. Great. And then it hit me. So this is how I got myself into the place where I was sporting an extra 50 lbs. Duh!

In an attempt to make something productive from this binge day, I will recap what I have learned:

  1. Jeff was right. Oreo truffles are heaven dipped in chocolate.
  2. I need to learn how to make better choices when I'm feeling sad/mad/happy/anything. (Don't tell me to work out. That's like pouring salt in the wound for me.)
  3. I need to keep healthy food in the house. I'm in sore need of groceries which made the crap look even tastier.
  4. One binge day is fine. Especially if I am working out. But I haven't worked out in a week. AND I'm finding it difficult to get back on the wagon. I need to find my motivation again.
  5. Cancer sucks. We need to find a cure.
  6. 99.99% of the time, people will not take you up on offers to help. Especially if you are a stranger. Sometimes you have to identify a need and fill it without asking.
  7. Calling a person who is newly diagnosed with cancer seems impossible but do it anyway. It's not that hard.
  8. I don't always say the right things. But at least I say something.
  9. If I offer to pray for someone, I do it immediately. There is nothing worth than an empty promise...especially a promise of prayer.
  10. Just when you think you must know everyone with cancer, someone new is diagnosed and the journey begins again.


Becci :) June 26, 2008 at 12:45 AM  

Dear Lori... I am so sorry to hear about all the new cancer diagnoses... cancer SUCKS!!! But, the good guys have you on their team, so Cancer is going to lose... one of these days! Hang in there... love you. Becci :)

The Tucson Gang June 26, 2008 at 5:44 PM  

Ah man, what a week for you. Cancer totally sucks!!! You are doing so much to actively help - so feel really good about what you can and are doing...and just pray that science and the medical community find that cure soooonnnnnn!

Hang in there are so strong for everyone else, be sure to take a minute for yourself too!

LCM June 27, 2008 at 7:22 AM  

I HATE it too! Friends from church, who lost their uncle and two girls cousins in a horrific car crash (one baby was at home and the other daughter was airlifted and seems to be doing okay) Anyway, while the survivor mom was taking care of the one in the hospital showed a doc a lump in her neck and now they are thinking lymphoma. You have to wonder how much one person is supposed to take! I don't vote for working out, unless you are really mad, in which case a boxing class is awesome! I would climb into a big tub with some ice water and a book and just soak for a while.

Maverick's Momma June 27, 2008 at 3:22 PM  

That is really rough. I don't know many people with cancer but one of my friends does have non-hodgkins lymphoma. I was a wreck, the day I found out.

Regarding #6, I agree that people do not accept help easily. I think it is not the social norm to readily accept help. What I do, as the helper, is say something like "I am good at cooking reheat meals. I'd like to help by making you a couple meals for three weeks. What are your dietary restrictions?" By being VERY incredibly specific in how I can help, I have found that the helpee finds it easier to accept the offer. I think it helps to know it's a solid offer of help, versus just nice words.

Emily June 29, 2008 at 9:16 PM  

Lori - I'm so sorry you had such a rough few days. Sometimes days can seem like eternity. I cannot even imagine learning about 2 friends in 2 days having cancer. As you know, I know many children as well through caringbridge who have cancer. Although I haven't had the priviledge of meeting them in person (except for Kennedy) I find myself getting to feel like I really know them. Some days it can be depressing with discouraging updates, and yet somedays it's so encouraging to hear how well a child's doing.
Though I love all those kids dearly, it breaks my heart that it seems my "cancer community" list is growing. We gotta find a cure.
Praying for you and hoping you're being encouraged and will have a great week ahead!!
Oh, here's a poem I wrote, on "just one of those days" so naturally that is what I called it!

“Just One of Those Days”

It’s just one of those days, I’m
coming undone
Just one of those days that I wish I could run
Away from my worries, away from my fears
It’s just one of those days, my eyes fill with tears
Lord could You touch my heart and take me to the place
Where I’m lost in Your love and changed by Your grace
Where it’s enough to be held in Your arms and to simply rest
To the place where I once again remember, I’m so richly blessed

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