Unfortunately...

Busy doesn't begin to describe my life the last couple of weeks. From work to vacation, to LOTS of work to the stomach flu to LOTS MORE work, I've completely fallen off the virtual planet.

Well I'm back internet. I've missed you. But unfortunately this is all I can offer you today.

Instructions: Do a web search for "Unfortunately [your name]" including the quote marks and write down your favorite results.

1. Unfortunately, Lori has now disappeared from the Web. (I know! We already covered that. Let's move on already.)
2. Unfortunately, Lori’s jet-setting big-city life isn’t what she dreamed it would be. (Yeah, where is that jet anyway?)
3. Unfortunately, Lori has retired from being the Director of Fan Relations as of Spring 1998. (I can't tell you how hard it is to relate to fans. I much prefer air conditioning.)
4. Unfortunately, Lori fell for Mark's deceptions, and he plucked her up out of her world, and wove her within his complex web of lies. (Darn you Mark and your plucking and deceiving.)
5. Unfortunately Lori doesn't play any of the music on this CD. (That's right people, I rock.)
6. Unfortunately Lori passed away in October 2005 leaving a huge loss in the schnauzer community. (Hey, are you calling me a female dog?)
7. Unfortunately Lori it's not that simple. (Sadly, it never is.)
8. Unfortunately, Lori cannot overpower the swarm of burly bodyguards surrounding the mobster, in spite of her formidable fighting prowess. (And don't you forget it!)
9. Unfortunately Lori won't be able to make it this year due to her very large pregnant belly. (Dude, I'm not pregnant.)
10. Unfortunately, Lori, you are experiencing what we call a flare-up. (Well of course I am, did you read #6 and #9?)
11. Unfortunately, Lori just wants to be friends (without benefits). (Uh, yeah, I'm married!)
12. Unfortunately, Lori, my dear Packer-loving friend, these socks were made ESPECIALLY for my feet. (It's just a sock, relax.)
13. Unfortunately, Lori seems to have forgotten how rough it was the first time she married a prisoner. (The second time's a charm, right?)
14. Unfortunately, Lori never really attained the stardom she so richly deserved (and never posed naked). (What's up with that? I totally deserve to attain stardom. With my clothes on TYVM!)