Sunday, November 25, 2007

Couch Potato

Well, it's official. One of my biggest fears has happened. I have become lazy again. You know that selfish, lazy existence that occurs when you can do what you want when you want? You wake up when you want. You lounge around watching tv when you want. You go to the bathroom when you want (without anyone watching). Well, that's where I am once again. I feel a little bad about lamenting my state. After all, I know a ton of very busy moms & dads that would kill for a day of selfish laziness. But lemme tell ya, the novelty wears off quickly. And I don't mean to say it's a bad thing either. I just know that it's temporary and will be tough to let go of again. Let me explain...

One of the most difficult transitions of motherhood for me was the loss of freedom. Before Lillian came into our lives, I would work all day then come home and flop on the couch. I awoke to the sound of the alarm clock and could choose to press snooze several times for "just five more minutes" of sleep. After becoming a mom, I soon realized that all of that changes. I mean I knew it in theory but reality was a totally different story.

I remember being soooooo tired one Sunday after a particularly grueling night of getting up with a teething child. When she awoke at her normal 6am, I was simultaneously impressed by her ability to wake up happy and full of energy despite a sleepless night for both of us and depressed that I too had to get up and start the day so early. Around 11am I was ready to drop. Every fiber of my being was screaming for a nap. My head felt like it was floating above my body. And yet, here was this happy little person just wanting to play so my nap would have to wait until her nap time.

I adjusted to this new world after time. I think it's like any change, a new normal settles in and pushes out any memories of what used to be. And beyond just accepting this new normal, I grew to love it. Yes, parenting is a 24 hour a day job. And yes, it can be exhausting. But every age came with new discoveries and new joy that made it worthwhile.

After Lillian passed away, we decided to remodel the house partially because it would keep our evenings busy. And I'm still trying to keep my evenings full with bible study or visiting with friends or trying out a new recipe. Anything to avoid settling into that laziness because once we have another child, the freedom that I've enjoyed yet again will be difficult to relinquish.

But it has happened. This new yet all too familiar normal has taken hold. How do I know? I've been wearing a pedometer to track my steps. On average I walk about 2,900 steps a day. A far cry from the recommended 10,000 but each day I make small changes to ramp that number up. That is until yesterday. A leisurely four day weekend culminated in the ultimate couch potato day where I logged a measly 373 steps. ::gasp:: How's that for lazy?

At this point, I need to learn to appreciate this little hiatus. Soon enough it will be but a faint memory and I'll be longing for a 373 step day. Because it's all too likely that I'll have many 373 step NIGHTS. So as much as I miss bath time and story time and rocking my dear baby to sleep, I will try to make the most of this short time. To not spend all my energy wishing for what was or what will be but just enjoying what is. As hard as that may be.

6 comments:

Jennifer November 27, 2007 at 11:31 AM  

Living in the now can be difficult. I find myself wishing for when the boys are older and more independent and then I realize how much I'll miss those more dependent days once they're gone. Thank you for the reminder to embrace the place that we're in right now!

Mark Matteson November 27, 2007 at 2:14 PM  

Oh this too will change! We look forward to the time when you can be up at 2am again - not because it is 2am, but because it will mean that you have another child (or two or three) in the house. Laura and I have something to discuss with you when you have a chance. Could you please send your contact info to us? (I can't seem to find it). When you have a chance, Just send it to Laura's email at laura.matteson@att.net

LCM November 28, 2007 at 11:54 AM  

Oh my gosh! We were watching The Biggest Loser last night and they had a little quiz. TV watching uses only 70 or 60 calories an hour, but by getting up to change the channel, you could burn 95 calories!! Of course, my husband could burn 1200 with as much as he flips.

Shana O'Brien November 29, 2007 at 4:50 PM  

Hi Lori. I am killing time here in MT. I know, you predicted I would move here, and well, you can say "told you so" like my mom. =-) I think of you, Jeff, and Lillian often, and I would love to hear from you. E-mail me! seobrien@hotmail.com
Shana (the bestest PT you know.)

Anonymous November 29, 2007 at 5:29 PM  

So good to finally see that the best PT in the world is off her bike and back in the technology world :)

Yes, enjoy your couch potato times as they will be ending soon! I do miss them, but enjoy the crazy no sleep times too :) Like Jennifer said I do wish for more independence at times, but I know I will miss it when the time comes!! I am just finally praising God because my non-sleepers are at least doing a little better. Rarely having troubles with Miriam and Joshua is doing better to! I am greatly enjoying that I now get more then 5-6 hours of broken sleep and we are up to 6-8 hours straight of sleep on a good night. It would be better if I could get to bed at 8, but for some reason that just doesn't seem right! Again, enjoy what you can now! Throw the pedometer away and just sit away!

Beth

Krissy Keelan November 30, 2007 at 6:18 PM  

Enjoy the lazy days, just don't make a habit of them. That's my best advice. I think all of us enjoy laying on the couch doing nothing all day once in a while.

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