New Photo

Why, oh why, must we take another picture? The last one is only a few years old. And it was taken in my pre-hospital-weight years. *Sigh* Those were the days. But, rules are rules so off we went.

• Photographer - We begged. We pleaded. We bribed. And finally, the world renowned photographer that took the photo for our last adoption agreed to come out of retirement and shoot us again. Okay, it's Jeff's sister and it only took one phone call. Thanks Michelle!

• Wardrobe - We lacked inspiration in the wardrobe department and elected to don the same ensembles as last time. Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

• Location - Don't laugh...we decided to shoot at the campus where Michelle and I work. They pay a ton of cash to keep the campus beautiful so why not take advantage of the scenery?

• The Result - We got 3 decent choices before the battery ran dead on our camera. Vote for your fav using the poll at the right and maybe, just maybe, your choice could end up on our "dear birthparent" letter. Act now! Time is limited.

Some restrictions apply. No purchase necessary. Void in Maine, Delaware and Rhode Island. See package for details. Limited to supply on hand. Despite all of these warnings, there is no real prize in this contest. Just the satisfaction of getting a vote.

Option 1 (the park bench)

Option 2 (the wind blown look)

Option 3 (the zen garden)

The winner by a hair...THE ZEN GARDEN. (Get it, by a hair? Cause it just beat the windblown look. That's funny stuff.)

The park bench (4%)

The wind blown look (41%)

The zen garden (54%)

Stupid Plumber

I don't know where to post this. The remodel stuff has spilled over into the adoption blog because right now, they are wound together. But to try to keep the adoption blog about...well...the adoption, I've decided to give the dreaded remodel update here.

After MUCH drama (which I don't think you really want to know about), our plumber did not show up. I suspected it was going to happen since they had not returned any of my many messages or e-mails. Thursday night my dread hit a crescendo but there was still a nagging hope that they might appear Friday as scheduled. Friday afternoon I began negotiating with myself to give them "just one more hour." The mental negotiation began at around noon and finally, at 4pm, I officially gave up. Fortunately, another plumber who had bid on the job is able to start next Friday putting us just 1 week behind. (If you don't count the 6 weeks we waited for the last plumber to start.) Admitting defeat is tough for me but somehow I'm finding peace with it. What's a week in the scheme of things? Ugh, don't answer that question.

Last night as we doodled on the paper tablecloth at our favorite little neighborhood Italian place, I kicked off a game of hangman. The answer was "stupid plumber." Jeff got it after only 5 guesses...clearly we're both thinking the same thing. As my final act of vengeance (as if evil thoughts and hateful hangman answers weren't enough), may I encourage all of you to ban Prestige Services, Inc.

The weekend hasn't been a waste by any means. I'm working on refacing a brick fireplace and Jeff has been tearing out a soffit in the living room. The soffit was one of those things that several contractors knocked on and said it would be no problem to remove. Once Jeff tore off the drywall and exposed the ceiling joists, we realized they were very wrong. That sucker was load bearing. Ugh again. But the rest of the room has exposed beams so we decided to lift it to the ceiling to match the other beams. With some expert help from our neighbor (who happens to be a contractor), the beam was in place in a matter of hours. It's so nice to sit on the couch and have an unobstructed view of the tree tops through the now visible skylights. And it really opens the room.

Despite this setback, we continue to move forward. Here are some recent pics of the chaos that is our home.

Goodbye soffit, hello skylights!

Cabinets with crown molding. That space on the right is for our monster sized fridge and freezer! Yipee!!

Replaced a slider with french doors. Oh, and the pool is gone. In about 10 years, our kids are gonna be really mad when they find out there was a pool out there!!!

Question of the Week

Last summer I was fortunate enough to attend a conference about arts ministries. In that conference, I participated in a breakout session entitled "Writing Realistic Dialogue." The instructor, an accomplished writer and actor, gave us this assignment to complete before arriving at the conference:

Write the first 15-20 lines of the following scenario.

SCENARIO: In 2005, Jane, an interior designer, did a remodel for a wealthy friend, who paid her an extra $5000 on the side, and told her to consider it a tip. The wealthy friend did not report it to the IRS, and Jane is wondering if she should report it on her tax returns. She and her husband John fought about it last night (she doesn't want to report it, but he thinks she should) and the fight ended by John telling her he would live with her decision but he had to know first thing the next morning.

The scene takes place that next morning.

In those first 15-20 lines, make sure you include the following:

1. The basic exposition: Your audience doesn't know anything about
Jane and John or their situation.

2. Jane's decision: Jane needs to reveal her decision to report the
money or not, depending on which way you want to go.

I'm used to writing happy endings. When writing sketches for our church services, we usually keep things light and funny. It makes for an easier transition into the sermon for our pastor and it makes the congregation laugh. So when I saw this assignment, I followed my traditional formula and came up with this:

(Jane enters with John sitting at the breakfast table reading the paper.)

Jane: Morning

John: Morning (without looking up from paper)

Jane: (awkward silence as she gets a cup of coffee and sits down slowly. Softly says) John, I’ve made a decision.

John: (Puts down paper and looks up expecting bad news) And?

Jane: (clearly rehearsed) Ok first, tips are common in interior design. I talked to several other designers and none of them report tips. Second, Sharon isn’t reporting it on her taxes so if I do she might get audited. I don’t want to get our friend in trouble just for being generous. Third, because she gave me $5,000, it would be taxed as a bonus which is 50%. All of my hard work and Uncle Sam gets half. Fourth, we need…

John: (interrupts, annoyed) Jane! We talked about all of this last night. I told you I’d live with your decision, just tell me what it is already.

Jane: (calmly) Sure you’ll live with my decision. But I want you to agree. It shouldn’t be all on me.

John: You said it yourself. It’s your money so it’s your decision.

Jane: If it’s my decision, why are you mad?

John: (angrily) I’m not mad.

Jane: Huh, could’ve fooled me.

John: (sighs) I’m not mad. (Jane raises her eyebrows) I’m not. I’m just… I’m frustrated. Look, I know it’s a hard decision. Lots of people don’t report tips. And you worked hard for that money. It just doesn’t feel very honest to take the money under the table.

Jane: I know. That’s why decided to report it.

John: What?

Jane: I’m reporting the $5000 on our taxes. It’s the right thing to do.

John: Why didn’t you tell me that 5 minutes ago?

Jane: I would have but you interrupted me. This worked out better anyway. You were making it such a black and white decision. I needed you to see the gray. To see why this was a hard call.

John: But in the end, I was right.

Jane: In the end, I made the decision that I could live with.

John: Yeah but I was right.

Jane: It was my call.

John: But I was right.

Jane: For crying out loud. Is that all you care about?

John: Hey, I don’t get to hear it that often. Come on. Say it.

Jane: Fine. You were right. (John gives her a big hug.) Right about marrying me.

I know, I know...ahhhhhhh. Isn't that adorable? After a day at this inspirational conference, I wasn't feeling quite as confident in the script. I felt that it was realistic but just a bit too tidy. So, on the spur of the moment about 10 minutes before this breakout session, I grabbed my laptop and hammered out this second version:

(Jane enters with John sitting at the breakfast table reading the paper.)

Jane: Morning

John: Morning (without looking up from paper)

Jane: (awkward silence as she gets a cup of coffee and sits down slowly. Softly says) John, I’ve made a decision.

John: (Puts down paper and looks up expecting bad news) And?

Jane: And I’m sticking with my decision.

John: Fine (puts paper back up)

Jane: Fine.

John: (after a long pause, drops the paper down) No, it’s not fine.

Jane: Hey, you said it was my decision. I’ve decided not to report the $5,000 on our taxes.

John: But Jane; it’s wrong and you know it.

Jane: No, l don’t know it so don’t tell me what to think.

John: C’mon. Sharon gave you the money and told you to consider it a tip. Not a gift, a tip. You’re supposed to report tips, they’re just another form of income.

Jane: Look, I’ve asked a lot of other interior designers and they don’t report tips so why should I?

John: Um, let’s see. Because it’s the right thing to do? Because it’s the honest thing to do? Because it’s the law?!

Jane: Please, we’re not going to get audited. Sharon isn’t reporting it. In fact, if I report it and she doesn’t then she could get audited. I’m not going to punish our friend for being generous.

John: You’ve obviously made up your mind and nothing I’m going to say is going to change it.

Jane: Stop making this so black and white. You’re blowing this whole thing out of proportion. I mean you act like I’m stealing or something.

John: (stands up) You know what Jane, you’re right. You’re not stealing. You’re just lying…again. (leaves the room)

I like that it leaves the audience guessing and that it layers in a sub-plot. Parts still seem a little contrived but it's hard to communicate the exposition without it feeling forced.

Ultimately the class volunteered their scripts to be read in class for the instructor to critique. Because I didn't have a hard copy of either script, I wasn't able to volunteer. But I was very interested to see the various approaches to the same scene. Some were very light and superficial, too much in fact. Most were quite good. The instructor particularly favored one involving a description of what was being prepared for breakfast. It was a good lesson in the art of painting a picture with words. I tend to get to the point in my writing and may forget the many virtues of setting the scene. The point is, I learned a great deal from this little class. Both from my own experience with 2 versions of the same scene and from other's approaches.

For a myriad of reasons, the writing opportunities I have enjoyed with my church are slowing up if not disappearing. This was a very important ministry to me personally. It helped me get involved in a new church. It helped me find my voice artistically. And it helped me reach people for Christ. I don't want to lose that. So if any of you need something written, I'm your girl. Seriously, you never know when you might need a script. I've written and produced two small pieces for work. Heck, even if you just want to be entertained, give me a scene description and I'll throw something together. I'm looking for ways to keep this writing muscle in shape!

Which brings me to the question of the week:

Which version of this scene do you prefer? Why?

I'm not looking for glowing praise (thought I wouldn't stop you if you truly felt the need). I'm truly interested in which version you find more interesting. Or if you have another idea for the scene, I'd love to hear that too.

Nothing New

Nothing new to report. Jeff got his physical but I forgot to give him the form for the doctor to fill out. So I'm working on having the form completed. Other than that...we're just waiting for the home visit.

And we're waiting for the plumbers to start on Friday so the house has a CHANCE of being presentable for our existing home visit scheduled for September 10th. Granite will be installed on the 7th so we'll be cutting it very close. Yes, I STILL know I could push out the home visit but aren't you getting sick of waiting? I know I am. We have individual appointments and another home visit after this one which requires yet more waiting. So we're gonna try to make September 10th work...

Ordinary

I used to envy people with amazing testimonies of how God's grace pulled them from the brink of divorce or led them out of a drug filled haze. These extraordinary examples of God's unending mercy and steadfast love reach people. No one was going to ask me to stand up in church and talk about growing up in a Christian home, accepting Christ after church camp and getting baptized on Easter at age 12. *Yawn* Don't get me wrong, I'm not sure I actually want to live the events that lead to other people's awesome testimonies. I think it's just the writer in me who wants the great story for myself. (Sad but true.) Regardless, I really thought that God reached people through the extraordinary.

Well last night I was at my dear friend Jennie's baby shower listening to her friends extol her virtues when it hit me. God uses the ordinary just as much as the extraordinary. Let me explain.

Jennie has been such a blessing to me. We met in jr. high and remained friends until going our separate ways for college. 10 years later, we were surprised to find ourselves sitting a pew apart in church. As I reflect back on our years of friendship, what strikes me is how unchanging Jennie is. Even in the throws of puberty, she never got caught up in the high school drama. Through it all, she remains as her friends describe her, down-to-earth, welcoming and genuine.

I recall sitting in her kitchen 5 years ago telling her of my plans to start a family. This plan included even the month this child would be born. After all, we have far too many fall and winter birthdays in the family. It would only be prudent to have a baby in the spring! In a gentle and loving way, Jennie casually wondered aloud whether I had considered that our plans aren't always the same as God's plans. I think had the tables been reversed, I would likely have smiled and added my 2 cents to the plans. But Jennie was holding me accountable. This is just one example of how God used Jennie's ordinary, day-to-day life to make sure I heard His voice.

So if you find yourself feeling ordinary as you go about the business of living, just remember that God may be using the way you respond to a driver who cuts you off or the way you talk to your kids or even the quality of your work. Speaking of which, lunchtime is over. Back to work. But before I go, I would like to thank all of you, my ordinary friends, for all that you've taught me through your words and your actions. God bless you.

The Ride Continues

Looking back through this blog, it certainly contains an eclectic mix of thoughts. But that is probably also a fair representation of my rambling journey. The remodel and other extracurricular projects are occupying significant time and mind space. The humor, sarcastic though it may be, is once again gaining a foothold. The meltdowns are getting further apart but are still unpredictable. I've said that cancer is a roller coaster. So is grief. And I'm beginning to realize that grief is a ride which never ends. The bumps and twists just become smaller and less nauseating perhaps (hopefully). Here's a few of the recent bumps and twists in my ride.

I don't begrudge anyone a moment of happiness with their children. And generally I enjoy talking about other people's kids and celebrating their milestones. But the other night, my manager's wife (who also works for the company) was hosting a small gathering at their home. When their 3 beautiful kids came down to say goodnight, I noticed their 2 year old daughter was wearing jammies similar to what Lillian used to wear. I promptly lost it and couldn't seem to regain my composure. Ahhhhhh! I hate that!!!

So when the invitation was sent for 2nd annual family picnic at work, I immediately hesitated. On one hand, I feel like I should be there. It's during work hours and I am a member of this team. But on the other hand, I don't want go only to find myself turning into the ridiculous blubbering girl hiding in the corner. I have memories of many events before Lillian was born but there are a few that we only did with her. This family picnic one of those "Lillian events." When I think of the family picnic, I think of Lillian in the bouncy house. They are so intertwined that I can't imagine going without her. And honestly, I can't imagine watching the other happy families without feeling insanely jealous. So this will be the first event that I decline due to grief. It makes me feel weak and selfish. Can't I be happy for people without feeling sorry for myself?

On Sunday, we visited Lillian's grave site to deliver some pretty roses from our yard. I knew it was recently completed but seeing her nameplate added to the boulder brought an overwhelming sense of permanence. Someone left a little praying girl figurine and a tiny elephant figurine in front of her nameplate. Jeff arranged them by the vase and said it looked like they were having a tea party. How appropriate! Man I miss tea parties...and family picnics...and her unique little giggle...and, and, and...the list is endless.

My favorite roller coaster is Space Mountain at Disneyland. It's dark so you don't know where you're headed. The darkness makes a relatively tame ride more exciting. What I wouldn't give to see where this ride, called grief, is heading! If I could know when the bumps and twists are coming, I could brace myself. But I guess this is the perfect lesson in trusting God. He is with me always. Not to remove the bumps but to help me through them.

Cause I'm a Blond

Apparently not everyone grew up in the 80's and may not have recognized Julie Brown's song in my blond cabinet post. Soooo, here it is in all it's 80's glory. Author's note - This video is PG as it's offensive on many wonderful levels (and I can't quite make out the opening to see if the picture is G rated).