The Next Chapter

Hungry Caterpillar Birthday Party

2012-01-29T17:19:00.000-08:00

Phew, let me just start by saying that hosting birthday parties on back-to-back Saturdays is a lot of work! Even though I kept Calla's 1st birthday party much more low key, it almost seemed like I was rushing around more in the days leading up to it. But it was all worth it in my opinion. I remember some great parties growing up and want to create the same memories for my kids. (I realize Calla won't remember her 1st birthday but I will.)

Without any further ado, here are the highlights of the meal and decorations. First, the invitation:

Completely copied from multiple sites and super easy to make with a printer, mini hole punch, mini brads and circle punch.

I also made a caterpillar mobile from lanterns using these instructions:

And a pair of caterpillars using photos from her first year (1 from each month):

(Those are just construction paper dots using my circle punch to add a little more color to the multiple tables we used.)

I made hats using the same tutorial as I did with Ian's party and punched out some stickers to doctor up plain white cups.

I didn't get pictures of the cake (gasp) or the food with the exception of the fruit. I used the fruit from the caterpillar's Mon-Fri diet as part of the menu with these free printables. I also made an quick orzo salad and cut up some pinwheel sandwiches using spinach wraps and shaped them into a caterpillar with a tomato head.

I made a caterpillar cake inspired by this design, it's a shame I didn't get a picture! I still need working on wrapping fondant over round cakes but I really prefer buttercream anyway. But it turned out pretty well despite my novice efforts.

Finally, I made these butterflies as favors for the kids but I totally forgot to hand them out! They're Skittles and Trix cereal. Not sure what to do with all these treats now...

So now I have a whole year to recover before the birthday rush begins again. I can't wait!

Fishing Birthday Party

2012-01-14T15:34:00.000-08:00

Today we had Ian's 4th birthday party with his friends from school. Since he likes to go fishing with his daddy, we decided to go with a fishing theme. I had fun making lots of crafty things for his party over the last month or so and thought I would record them here for future reference. Overall, it was a fun party and our birthday boy completely crashed afterward! (Always the sign of a good party.)

First up, the decorations:

The invitations and decor were inspired by the fish on a cake I saw on flikr. From there, I made a simple fish and used it on everything from the cups to the hats to the favors to the invitations.

Balloon wreath using this tutorial but almost triple the number of balloons and an 18" wreath form. We'll be using this for many birthdays in the future!

An ocean ceiling

Our favorite felt birthday banner and buckets for each guest.

I made a jello fish bowl for the centerpiece with a fishing net and a few fishing toys we had around the house.

We use this special plate every year for his birthday and you can see the cups and hats I made.

Next, the activities:

We had each guest decorate a foam fish with foam shape stickers when they arrived. Then they had to take a test to earn their fishing license before fishing with magnetic poles I made.

They also got to take some swings at a fish pinata, also homemade. It was my first attempt at a pinata and it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. But it was sturdy so in the end I cut it open to spill the candy.

Finally, the cake!

The birthday boy in his 4 fish shirt I made with his fishing cake.

The guests went home with their fish, fishing pole, pinata loot, buckets and these little favors for their next fishing trip:

Wow, when I write it all out, that's a lot of crafting! But since I've been working on it bit by bit over the holidays, it wasn't overwhelming. And next week we have yet another birthday for Calla. Her party will be much more low key but I still made a few fun decorations.

Chocolate cupcake with salted caramel buttercream

2011-09-04T20:15:00.000-07:00

Yet another cupcake recipe to share (and for me to record for future use). I adapted several different recipes into one decadent cupcake. Just take a look...

This little beauty is a chocolate cupcake with caramel filling, salted caramel buttercream topped with a caramel drizzle and milk chocolate toffee bits. Pretty much all of my favorite things wrapped up in one little treat. Though the cupcake recipe makes 24 cakes, the frosting only covered 12. So I made another batch of frosting but substituted 1/2 cup of fresh strawberry puree for the caramel and omitted the salt. Fresh strawberry buttercream is definitely a winner too. A bit lighter than its caramel cousin if that's possible considering the butter and sugar involved.

I have no destination other than my belly in mind for these 2 dozen cupcakes. Yikes! Unless anyone wants to drop by for cupcakes tomorrow, my co-workers will get to polish these off on Tuesday. If only I loved working out as much as I love baking. *sigh*

Perfectly Chocolate Cupcakes
(makes 24-27 standard sized cupcakes)
From Glorious Treats

2 cups sugar
1 3/4 cups all purpose flour
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa (best quality available)
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 eggs
1 cup whole milk
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 teaspoons vanilla extract (best quality available)
1 cup boiling water

Caramel Filling
1/3 cup sweetened condensed milk
1/3 cup caramel topping

Salted Caramel Frosting
Adapted from The Novice Chef

2 sticks unsalted butter; room temperature
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1/3 cup caramel topping; plus more for drizzling
3/4 teaspoon fleur de sel
1 pound confectioners’ sugar

Instructions:

Line muffin tin with paper liners. Heat oven to 350*F.

In a large mixing bowl, stir together sugar, flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Add eggs, milk, oil and vanilla. Beat on medium speed for two minutes. Stir in boiling water (the batter will be thin).

Fill liners 2/3 full with batter. Bake cupcakes for approximately 22-24 minutes. Cool completely on wire rack before frosting.

Stir sweetened condensed milk and caramel topping to make the filling. Scoop out a hole in the cupcake and spoon in the filling. Replace the scooped out portion of the cake.

In a mixing bowl, cream the butter. Add vanilla, caramel topping and fleur de sel and mix until well combined. Add confectioners' sugar 1 cup at a time, mixing thoroughly after each addition.

Pipe icing onto cupcake, drizzle with caramel topping and sprinkle with Heath milk chocolate toffee bits (found in the baking aisle). Or sprinkle with chopped Snickers bars.

Ladybug birthday cupcakes

2011-08-30T20:51:00.000-07:00

Our dear friends moved on Saturday and were brave enough to host a birthday party for their 4 year old on Sunday at their new home. Impressive! So I volunteered to make cupcakes for the birthday girl. She requested ladybugs and I was happy to oblige. I made perfectly chocolate cupcakes with my favorite vanilla buttercream grass and fondant ladybugs, funfetti cupcakes with vanilla buttercream and another fondant ladybug and fresh strawberry cupcakes with strawberry buttercream and m&m ladybugs. I only sampled the strawberry which was good but perhaps a little dry. Since I have said the same thing about other recipes, I should probably adjust my baking times. The hubby tried the funfetti and gave his usual "it was fine" response. Not much to go on there. Oh well, just an excuse to try both the chocolate and funfetti recipes again! Overall I was very happy with the decorations. And I even made an extra batch of grass and roses for my sister's family to celebrate their move to the beautiful Pacific Northwest. Win-win!

Candy Bar Cake recipe

2011-06-14T11:59:00.000-07:00

For the anonymous commenter on my birthday post, here is the recipe for the Candy Bar Cake. It's definitely my favorite! But based on the size of my "Goodies" board on Pinterest, I have many new favorites waiting to be tried.

Candy Bar Cake
Liberally adapted from Allrecipes.com

Ingredients:
Cake-
1 package devil's food cake mix
1 1/2 cups milk
3 eggs
3/4 cup vegetable oil
1 small package instant vanilla pudding mix

Filling-
1 1/2 (8 oz) packages cream cheese
3/4 cup sugar
1 1/2 cups confectioner's sugar
1 (12 oz) container Cool Whip, thawed
7 Heath bars, coarsely chopped (substitute any candy bar you'd like)

Directions:
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Prepare 3 8-inch cake pans (my sister introduced me to Baking Pam and I haven't looked back. It's flour and oil in one quick spray!).

Combine cake ingredients in a mixing bowl. Beat on low speed until combined. Beat 4 minutes on medium speed. Pour batter into prepared pans.

Bake in preheated oven for 20-25 minutes. Cool on a wire rack for 10 minutes. Turn out cakes from pans and allow to cool completely.

For the filling, beat cream cheese, sugar and confectioner's sugar until smooth. Fold in Cool Whip and candy bar pieces. Spread between cake layers and on outside. I then added a layer of chocolate buttercream to the outside for a cleaner finished look. And because chocolate is fantastic.

My birthday in pictures

2011-04-19T20:20:00.000-07:00

Handmade by my kiddos with help from their Daddy.

Almost triple digits, woohoo!

Candy bar cake (chocolate cake, whipped cream/cream cheese icing with toffee and chocolate buttercream)

This is my idea of the proper cake to frosting ratio...

Relay For Life - Papa's Pizza Fundraiser 2011

2011-03-21T21:37:00.000-07:00

Bring this flyer to Papa's Pizza on Tuesday, May 17th and Papa's will donate 50% of the value of the food you purchase to the American Cancer Society! (Click on the image to enlarge & print. You must bring the flyer for the donation!) The fundraiser is all day but we will have desserts and reserved tables from 5-7pm. See you there!

Party, party, party

2011-03-15T13:37:00.000-07:00

We hosted an open house recently to celebrate Calla's arrival. It was such a joy to see so many special people gather to pour out love on Calla and our family. We are blessed! Every baby should be cherished as much as Calla.

In preparation for the party, I had a great time sourcing handmade decorations and treats as well as making many of my own. Instead of searching all over for recipes and resources again, I thought I'd recap anything here for my future reference. Plus everything turned out so beautifully that I had to share pictures. (Disclaimer - I was snapping pictures at the last second with the wrong lens so the quality is not great.)

DESSERT BUFFET:

Chocolate Cupcakes - Magnolia's Vanilla Buttercream will definitely be my go-to icing in the future. It is DELICIOUS! If buttercream is wrong, I don't want to be right. Edible pearls and wafer rice paper butterflies from Sweet Deja Vu were beyond adorable. I was very pleased with these cupcakes.
Chocolate Covered Oreo's - I used a candy mold which created a professional looking result. Tutorial here.
Mini Strawberry Cheesecake - Used this recipe but made into individual cheesecakes using silicone muffin molds. They definitely needed to be frozen for at least 2 hours before unmolding but I love the finished result of the individual servings.
Sugar Cookies - I tried a new recipe which was very good. Traditionally I have used buttercream to ice cookies but I wanted to try royal icing for a clean finish. The flavor wasn't as good as buttercream but the cookies were very pretty. I think adding vanilla or almond extract would help. I used buttercream to attach these custom fondant monogram toppers from Two Sugar Babies. Some of the monograms were damaged beyond repair in shipping but I ended up with just the right amount for the plate. And I think her other designs which aren't as intricate would travel better.
Petit Fours - I'm not usually a lemon dessert fan but these lemon petit fours from Dulce De Luna were delicious! The almond raspberry flavor was also tasty.
Cake Pops - Red velvet, yum! I met a woman who was selling cake pops as a fundraiser for Relay for Life and asked her to make 2 dozen for the party. Win-win!
Chocolate and Vanilla Marshmallows - If you haven't tried handmade marshmallows from A Little Bit of Sweet, you are missing out! They are light, fluffy and absolutely delicious.
Meringue Cookies - Huge mistake, most of them broke during shipping and no one ate those that made it in tact. Oh well, you live and learn.
Hershey's Kisses - Found clever little stickers from Posh Pixels and had them customized with Calla's name and initial.

Chocolate covered Oreo's

White chocolate covered Oreo's

Red Velvet Cake Balls

Sugar cookies with royal icing and fondant monogram toppers

Lemon and almond-raspberry petit fours

Meringue cookies, handmade marshmallows, kisses

Kisses with custom stickers

Chocolate cupcakes with vanilla buttercream

Wafer rice paper butterfly and edible pearl decorations

OTHER FOOD & DRINKS:

Tea sandwiches - I don't generally like tea sandwiches plus I tried new recipes so this was a gamble. Both the chicken salad and cucumber sandwiches (used Best Cucumber Sandwich recipe) were completely gone and received many compliments.
Fruit
Veggies and dip
Orzo pasta salad
Scones and homemade blackberry jelly (Jeff's contribution)
Water - I added cucumbers, limes, strawberries and raspberries to water to make it a little prettier
Raspberry lemonade with lemons brought from Arizona by my mom
Coffee and assorted teas
Champagne bar with pomegranate juice, orange juice and peach puree. In a flash of frugal brilliance, I bought simple vases from the Dollar Store for the juices since I didn't have enough pitchers.

Food table

Fruit water and raspberry lemonade

Coffee and tea in my mom's silver tea service set (paper heart garland above)

Champagne bar (custom letter blocks in front)

DECORATIONS:

Tissue paper pom poms came in a kit from Prost to the Host. I just had to attach the monofilament, fluff and hang. My mom had the clever idea of using a needle to hang them. You can't even see the holes!
Paper heart garland from Paper Polaroid. I am saving this to use for Valentine's decorations in the future.
I adore the name blocks from Countryside Sayings. They were a great addition to the party decor and I ordered colors that will work in Calla's room afterward.
I made the food labels using frames from DreAm Loft. It came in a set of 6 different designs but the shop owner sent each design separately as well which worked perfectly since I only used one.
Using this tutorial, I created a twin heart wreath for the door. It was a ton of work (and a ton of glue sticks) but I will also keep this to reuse for Valentine's Day decorations so it was worth it.

Pom Poms, glass trays and food table

Pom Poms close up

DIY heart wreath

Couponing experiment

2011-02-28T20:58:00.000-08:00

I stumbled upon a tv show about extreme couponers and was about to change the channel when this lady bought $600 worth of groceries and after coupons only paid $2. My jaw hit the floor and I was mesmerized. And so began my wild hair to try using coupons. (This is what daytime television has turned me into!) Now I didn't plan to go dumpster diving for coupons like one lady does. Or walk 7 miles each day picking up coupons from my neighbors. My goal was simply to use one coupon. I've never bothered with coupons because I figured I wouldn't remember to use them. So I figured it would be wise to start small.

Except...I'm never one to start small.

One coupon turned into an envelope full of them. My rule was to only clip a coupon for things we would have already planned to purchase. But I'll be darned if Proctor & Gamble wasn't sending out their coupon circular this week. I have no idea how often this happens but the timing was perfect. And many retailers were running sales and additional coupons for P&G products to coincide with their circular. That meant that I would have a sale price, retailer coupon and manufacturer coupon for some items. That's like the Holy Grail of couponing! Or so I'm guessing.

Long story short, I went to the store today with my detailed list and my envelope of coupons. The result? (Drum roll please...) I saved over $75 between manufacturer coupons ($20) and retailer coupons/club discounts ($55). That was 23% of the total. Not too shabby! My big learning is to indicate the coupon details on my shopping list - size of package, item limit, etc. The list is really the key, then all you have to do is hand the pile of coupons to the cashier and watch the total chip away.

It wasn't really that difficult but if I'm honest, I'm not sure if I'll keep this up once I go back to work. That's the way my wild hairs have historically worked. In the meanwhile, I'm looking forward to receiving the coupons in the Food Day tomorrow. And hopefully the bigger lesson of stocking up on sale items sticks.

The Kid's First Concert

2011-02-21T13:52:00.000-08:00

Rachel from Signing Time is a star in our house so we are jumping at the chance to see her live in Portland! Jeff was shocked when I told him VIP tickets were only $20 for adults. Clearly Rachel's fame is not as widespread as it should be. A VIP ticket earns us early entrance for better seats and the chance to actually meet Rachel. I only hope Ian will be as excited as I am. And that the risk of skipping a nap does not impact our fun...

Practice makes perfect

2011-02-14T13:55:00.000-08:00

I've always like to bake but haven't really had the time. With a back-to-back sabbatical and paternity leave, I've had the luxury of baking lots of cakes. And by lots, I mean 4. Considering I do the baking and decorating while Ian is sleeping, I think 4 is a lot. I could bake while he is awake but then I have to listen to him say "whatcha making mommy" and "want some" about a billion times. It's just not worth it. What I've ultimately discovered is that I enjoy trying new recipes and am pretty darn good at baking. But on the decorating side, I'm just ok. I need to spend more time smoothing the icing and such to ensure a better outcome. And I probably need some tools. I love the process though and I think with practice I will be much better. I'm looking forward to more excuses to practice!

Ian's birthday cake: dark chocolate cake with cream cheese icing and fondant dessert decorations (cake and icing are my go-to recipes)

Ian's other birthday cake: chocolate cake with candy bar filling and chocolate buttercream icing (DELICIOUS!!!)

Our friend Bethany's first birthday cake: cookies and cream cake with buttercream Oreo filling and vanilla buttercream icing and cake ball bee

Valentine's cake (per Jeff's request): chocolate cake with fleur de sel caramel filling and ganache icing (the ganache wasn't sweet enough for me so I would leave it in the filling and sub chocolate buttercream for the icing)

Changing my mind

2011-02-07T20:35:00.000-08:00

As is my prerogative, I've changed my mind. I decided the family blog was better for pictures and I'd keep this site for the random update about well, anything I want (although I've been terrible at that).

We've been home for a little over 2 weeks and this is the first week that we have nothing on the calendar. Visiting friends have been wonderful but we were at the doctor's office every other day for a while there not to mention the lawyer and adoption agency. So it's nice to have some quiet time. (Any friends who want to come visit are always welcome! Ian loves the entertainment, I think we're becoming quite boring.) And we're slowly but surely starting to get more sleep as Calla begins to settle into some semblance of a routine. If you call sleeping all the time and eating every 3 hours a routine. So the next goal will be to start potty training Ian. Wish us luck!

My life is all about bottles and books and naps and playing right now. And I've got to say, I'm enjoying it. I don't miss work much...yet. Hopefully I'm starting to miss it right around the time I return.

Moving

2011-01-16T22:22:00.000-08:00

I would apologize again for the lack of updates but I have a feeling this is the new norm so what's the point. As we anticipate the birth of the newest member of our family (fingers crossed!), all of these blogs are feeling a bit fragmented. So I've combined them all into one family site: http://www.ourfamupdates.blogspot.com/ I've moved all posts from this blog as well as Lillian's and Ian's over to the new site and created a link at the top so you can sort for updates by person if you choose. Hopefully this will inspire me to post more regularly but I won't hold my breath! Regardless, you can now go to one spot for all the latest news from our family. See you over there!

The Call

2010-11-09T17:10:00.000-08:00

We got The Call! Yes, that one! The one we've been praying about for a year! A mama has selected us to parent her baby girl due in January!! If my excitement hasn't oozed out of those last four sentences then I clearly haven't used enough exclamation points. Because! I! Am! SO! Excited!!!!!!

Honestly? We'd almost forgotten that we were waiting. That's not entirely accurate. I remembered everyday but the anticipation had wavered from a kid on Christmas Eve to a kid on the day after Christmas. I guess it started to seem like it would never happen. We had even begun talking about how long we would stay in the pool. Others have certainly waited much longer so I know that may sound ridiculous. But perhaps we were supposed to be content with our two kiddos. So I had simply been petitioning God to make His will clear. Talk about an answered prayer!

The story of The Call probably best describes the evolution of the year. When we first entered the pool, every ring of the phone made me jump. If my cell rang with a number I wasn't familiar with, I would dash out of a meeting to answer it. I was that preoccupied with The Call and that sure that things would happen quickly like they had with our prior two adoptions. Fast forward a year and I'm lounging on the couch during Ian's nap when the phone rings. The caller ID says it's an unknown number so I let it go to voicemail, irritated that Ian might be awakened. There was no message and then the phone rang again with the same unknown number. Again, I let it go to voicemail but this time they left a message. I ran across the room and grabbed the phone by the time she managed to get out "Hi, this is xxx from OAFS, I have a situation that I would like to talk to you about..."

We are so eager to meet this family next week for the first of two planning sessions. I am very aware that this is only the start of our journey. But I believe that every child deserves to be eagerly anticipated so I'm giving my heart over to this completely. If we don't end up becoming her parents, I will grieve that loss but there is no use borrowing tomorrow's pain. For today, I am savoring the possibility of what lies ahead.

Happy Halloween

2010-10-10T17:46:00.000-07:00

As soon as the Kid got a peek at these, he started singing "Happy Birthday." Apparently he thinks cake is only allowed at birthdays. Heh.

Mummies...

...and spider webs...

...and worms in dirt...

OH MY!

I was in a hurry to deliver these to a friends house so I didn't have time to take a decent pic. But they are pretty cute, er scary, and in keeping with my must-be-simple-to-decorate rule. Plus I tried a new vegan chocolate cake recipe that turned out remarkably moist and tasty. After my last attempt at vegan cupcakes turned out disappointingly dry, I'm happy to have a new go-to recipe. Happy birthday...I mean, Happy Halloween!

Paying others to work

2010-10-07T20:58:00.000-07:00

By far the best way to remodel is to pay someone else to do the work. Sure it's still annoying and intrusive but by golly it's done. And fast! Anyhoo, my mom asked for some pics of the work so without further ado, here they are.

We had the siding repaired where we removed a slider that led to no where. In fact we have several sliders that lead to no where. Odd. No pics of this as it just looks like a wall.

Then we had a patio poured where the pool once was. (Don't tell our kids that we had a pool once upon a time. Oh, and NEVER buy a house with a pool. At least not in Oregon.) The patio is brushed concrete trimmed with a tinted grey stamped concrete in a grid pattern. It is huge so the grid helps to avoid the parking lot look. The Kid loves running back and forth with his shopping cart or riding his bike around. He LOVES the patio.

We cleaned the chairs so they are facing the sun to dry. Hence the army o chairs look. It's nice, don't ya think?

Then we had the fence replaced which not only looks a billion times better but we also enlarged it to include a side yard so it's much more useful. Rick's Custom Fencing demo'd the old fence and installed 280 linear feet of new fence in just 2 days.

And finally we had a new roof installed. This is a dreadful picture. How does one take a good picture of a black roof on a cloudy day? Obviously I have no clue.

We brilliantly bought our house at the height of the market and then proceeded to pour money into it. While we've enjoyed the fruits of those remodels, we doubt we'll ever recoup that investment. And since we don't intend to live in this house forever, we tried to keep costs to a minimum which is why we opted for a concrete patio and a composite roof. There are so many other things I'd love to do (replace the windows for example) but I think we're about done.

Of course in the last 2 weeks, the Hubs added a small raised bed for herbs. And he has almost completed demolition of a portion of old rotton decking. Then we'll level that portion of the yard and barkdust. So when I say "almost done," I really mean THIS NEVER ENDS!

Here comes trouble

2010-09-29T15:50:00.000-07:00

I returned home from a trip last night eager to see my boys. The weather was beautiful so we headed out to the park and then grabbed some dinner. The Kid declared that it was "Nana and Papa Tiiiiiiimmmmmeeee" on the way home so we hopped on Readeo and let Nana and Papa ~~e-babysit him~~ read to him for a bit. Finally after a bath, snuggles and more books, I tucked him in and said goodnight.

Normally there is some whining as he winds down but that is about it until morning. Note I said "normally."

I had just begun thumbing through a cookbook in the kitchen when Jeff commented "what was that?" Two seconds later The Kid runs into the kitchen signing and saying "AWAKE!"

Oh boy. We've clearly begun a whole new phase.

Chocolate Tall Cakes

2010-09-03T20:02:00.000-07:00

My dad came over for a birthday dinner so I made these vegan cupcakes (don't tell him they were vegan).

It was a winning recipe on Cupcake Wars so I figured they had to be good and they are totally adorable with their little muffin top hats. Unfortunately I couldn't get the frosting to turn out right so I made a batch of the Fluffy Vegan Buttercream from "Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World". The cake was a little drier than I would have liked so I'll check them at 18 minutes next time. But I like the combination of fresh berries, buttercream and chocolate cake. I mean, what's not to like? The Kid devoured his in about 2 seconds of course. I couldn't get him to pause for a photo so we just had to take one with his fork in his mouth.

Happy birthday Dad! And happy anniversary Jeff - I can't believe it's been 16 years already!

Mood swings

2010-09-02T20:38:00.000-07:00

After a brief respite, the tantrums have returned. The Kid is happy as a clam one second and whining/crying/flailing the next. Tonight we endured a doozy. We went to the store and he picked out birthday cards for Papa and Auntie Michelle (I'm sure the recipients will enjoy his interesting choices). And we got in the car and headed for home without complaint. But as soon as I mentioned that he would have a bath when we got home, he started crying and whining. Keep in mind that he likes baths so I had no idea that this would cause such a fit. Based on his repeated whines for "Auntie Shell" and "Papa" and "Biiiiiiiirrrrrthdaaaaay" I realized that he thought we were going to see Papa and Auntie Michelle and have a birthday party. Darn it. After several time outs interspersed with more whining and crying, he finally had a fun bath and is now happily getting ready for bed.

While I don't want to under-sell my hatred of the tantrums, the harder part for me is not holding a grudge. Once he has a change in activities, he is instantly sweet as pie. But I'm still reeling from the drama. I honestly don't know how he changes moods so darn quickly! I just hope this tantrum phase ends soon because I'm getting whiplash from the mood swings.

God's infomercial

2010-08-30T20:47:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by local author Donald Miller. I have read all of his books and always find his writing to be both accessible and insightful. One passage in the book resonated with me in particular. It talks about the idea that people often expect life to be easy once they become a Christian. Like some sort of infomercial for the key to happiness on earth. When in fact, Jesus promises us that life will be filled with trials (John 16:33). Just look at the earliest Christians, the apostles, and the strife they endured. Don puts it this way:

"Can you imagine an infomercial with Paul, testifying to the amazing product of Jesus, saying that he once had power and authority, and since he tried Jesus he's been moved from prison to prison, beaten and routinely bitten by snakes? I don't think many people would be buying that product. Peter couldn't do much better. He was crucified upside down, by some reports. Stephen was stoned outside the city gates. John, supposedly, was boiled in oil. It's hard to imagine how a religion steeped in so much pain and sacrifice turned into a promise for earthly euphoria."

As life unfolds new trials before me, I find myself again wondering why. Why would God allow bad things to happen to his beloved children? As a parent, I would do anything to protect my kids from pain. So why doesn't my all-powerful heavenly Father protect me from pain? And if God promises us plans to "prosper us and not to harm us," (Jeremiah 29:11) then why are we allowed to suffer? What happened to my key to happiness on earth?

Don answers these why's like this:

"I think Jesus can make things better, but I don't think he is going to make things perfect. Not here, and not now. What I love about the true gospel of Jesus, though, is that it offers hope. Paul has hope our souls will be made complete. It will happen in heaven, where there will be a wedding and a feast. I wonder if that's why so many happy stories end in weddings and feasts. Paul says Jesus is the hope that will not disappoint. I find that comforting."

God didn't promise heaven on earth. So while life may totally suck from time to time, I have hope. And despite my anger and grief and all around confusion, I know God is right here with me. He will give me the strength to endure (Psalm 46:1).

All this is to say, my sister has breast cancer. She is one tough chick and I know she will kick cancer's ever loving arse. But why the heck does she have to go through this? God help me, I have no flipping clue. So I just trust and hope and pray. If you know my sis and want to follow along as she gives cancer an old fashioned arse whooping, you can find updates here.

Managing 101 - What Not to Do

2010-08-02T16:06:00.001-07:00

I tend to shy away from talking about work as some of my co-workers lurked around here from time to time. But with my blogging lull, I'm guessing that they've all gone on their merry way. And what the heck, it's my blog!

Like many people, I've worked for a myriad of managers over my career. Most have been good-hearted which tends to erase any managerial shortcomings. But there have been a few doozies over the years.

My first manager liked to stroll in around 9am, apply her make-up for the next 15 minutes before running out to grab some breakfast. She then spent the balance of her day huddled around the proverbial water cooler complaining about how overworked she was before exiting promptly at 4:30pm. She treated me with a sort of aloof disdain leaving my budding self esteem to wilt under her harsh gaze. When a new manager took over and treated me as though I was CEO potential for doing the exact same work, the skies seemed to part. Everything suddenly made sense and I was quickly promoted. It was then that I realized what a profound impact a manager can make on their employees!

Fast forward through a dozen or so managers across 2 more companies and I have learned a great deal about what to do and sometimes more importantly, what NOT to do as a leader. Which brings me to my latest experience. This one we'll put firmly in the what not to do column. Suffice it to say that my last manager made my first manager look like Mary Poppins. In fact, "boss" is a more appropriate term for her.

My boss would give unclear direction (if any at all) and then verbally abuse us for not delivering her expectations. She would push us for critiques of our co-workers, tell the individual a grossly exaggerated version of the conversation then berate us publicly for not working well together. When things went well, she would pass off our work as her own and when things went poorly, she would step quietly aside to watch us crash and burn. This past year has been a trying one but I was intent on doing my best, helping her succeed and sheltering my team from her craziness. Overall, I believe I accomplished my goals. She was uncharacteristically complimentary in my annual review despite giving me a rather lackluster rating. It was a disappointing end to the year but thankfully my efforts have led to a new job.

Believe me when I tell you dear internet friends that had I written this post a week ago, it would have taken a much uglier turn. But a wonderful vacation and a thought provoking sermon on Ephesians 4:31-32 (31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you) has softened my perspective. So at this point, I'm chalking this one up to just another life lesson of what not to do. And I hope it makes me a better manager as a result.

Ring Dammit

2010-06-30T21:43:00.000-07:00

If anyone is still reading this poor, forsaken blog, I will be amazed. But desperate times call for desperate measures. Let me outline this for you dear interweb machine. We entered the adoption pool at the end of October. It is now July (or will be in a couple hours). THAT'S 8 LONG MONTHS WITH NARY A SINGLE CALL!

"But Lori," you say, "isn't the average wait around 10 months."

Excellent point.

"Haven't placements been slow in general lately?"

Yes, they have. Another good point.

"And shouldn't your focus be on the right match, not the quickest match?"

Enough already. Nobody likes a know-it-all.

I want the right match, really I do. We want a life-long relationship with a birthfamily as much as we want a baby. But may I point out however that this wait has been nearly twice as long as the wait for both Ian and Lillian COMBINED?! So forgive me if common sense has taken a back seat right now as I battle through all of the unknowns.

I'm tossing out a humble prayer request to anyone who is still reading. Will you join me in praying that the right birthfamily and the right baby would come into our family at the right time? And in the meanwhile, grant me patience as I wait. I'm thankful Relay is a week away, work is keeping me busy and Ian keeps me running and laughing all at the same time.

Relay for Life Fundraisers

2010-06-01T13:27:00.000-07:00

Once again we're fundraising for Relay for Life! And once again, we have a name drawing with three terrific prizes and fundraising event at Papa's Pizza. All donations benefit the American Cancer Society. Without further ado, here are the details:

Papa's Pizza Event

Bring this flyer to Papa's Pizza today, June 1st and Papa's will donate 50% of the value of the food you purchase!(Click on the image to enlarge & print. You must bring the flyer for the donation!)

Name Drawings

Tickets are $5 each or 5 for $20

You can donate online using a credit card and email me with your choice of prize.

Or give your cash/check to me in person (if you give me cash, please let me know if you would like a receipt for tax purposes).

Drawing will be held at Relay on July 11th

You choose which prize drawing you want to enter-

	FLIP VIDEO ULTRA HD CAMCORDER The Flip UltraHD™ camcorder combines Flip Video's signature shoot-and-share simplicity with the power of vivid, vibrant HD video. With 2 hours of record time, you'll never miss another minute again. And because of UltraHD's pocket-sized portability, you'll truly be able to capture HD video anytime, anywhere.

	GET PAMPERED - EDWARD WADSWORTH SALON Get pampered with this package of services from Edward Wadsworth salon. Package includes cut, color and a 60-minute massage.

	NIGHT OUT - DINNER & CHAMPAGNE Enjoy a night out with a $100 gift card to your choice of three Portland restaurants: Urban Farmer, The Origianl or Departure. Then toast a wonderful night with a bottle of Moet & Chandon White Star Champagne.

Through your donation, you will make a real difference in the lives of people facing cancer – and in the lives of the people who love them. Thank you!

Easter bunny

2010-04-05T20:52:00.000-07:00

Look at what I made for Easter! Under all that toasted coconut "fur" lies a a thick layer of cream cheese frosting and a homemade dark chocolate cake. Yum!

Calling all cooks

2010-03-19T07:51:00.000-07:00

We're creating a community cookbook filled to the brim with the best recipes from the best cooks we know - and that includes you! I think. If you somehow manage to burn water then no, not you.

Anyhoo, the theme of the cookbook is a year of weeknight recipes for the whole family. With your help we'll have 260 main dish recipes and separate sections for starters, side dishes and desserts for mixing & matching. And in support of Meatless Mondays, we're planning to include 52 vegetarian main dish recipes. Between leftovers and eating out, you'll have a complete year of meals at your fingertips! All the profits from the sale of these cookbooks will be donated to the American Cancer Society through our Relay for Life team.

If you have a recipe to submit, email me for the form. All recipes need to be submitted by April 15th. Oh, and each recipe in the book will include the name of the submitter so you'll finally be published!

We are also including advertising in our cookbook with prices starting at $40. Email me for more info on that as well.

If all goes well, the books will be ready to purchase in June. Wish us luck! I can't wait to try all of these tasty dishes.

An open letter to moms who bring sick kids to public places

2010-03-07T19:48:00.001-08:00

Dear ~~moron~~ fellow mom,

I understand how difficult it is to stick around the house with a sick toddler. Believe me, I do. We've suffered through 2 bouts of croup and the chicken pox in the last 18 months. But the rest of us aren't interested in attending whatever snot-filled germ party your kid is hosting. When I take my kid to a play gym, I expect the other children are healthy. And that their parents are abiding by the simple posted health rules (also known as common sense). So if your kid is sick, for the love of all that is holy, stay home.

Thanks to you I haven't smelled...well, anything in the past week. My right ear is completely plugged. Snot is being manufactured at record-setting rates. And I sound like a four-pack-a-day smoker. Oh and my kid and hubby are suffering with the same bug. Our house may require professional fumigation and disinfection when this stupid cold finally ends.

But hey, if it's more convenient for you to get out of the house and play among innocent children, by all means, don't let me stop you. It's obviously all about you. But be forewarned. The next time my kid has even a slightly runny nose, I'm letting him lick your car door handle.

Cheers,
Lori

Only in my dreams

2010-02-14T20:37:00.001-08:00

I don't normally remember my dreams but this week I woke up two mornings in a row from vivid dreams. And frankly, you don't need to be Freud to interpret these. See what you think:

In the first dream we were trying to get ready to go on vacation. But for some reason I could not get the hubby moving and the kid was still asleep. So I'm running around packing and getting everything ready while the hubby saunters over to pour some coffee, plops in the chair and turns on the news. Finally I look up the itinerary, glance at the clock and shout "THE PLANE IS TAKING OFF RIGHT NOW, we missed it." The next thing I remember is being in the car heading to the airport with the whole family and as I'm on hold to reschedule our flight, I realize I forgot the special items I purchased for the trip. And with that, I woke up feeling incredibly frustrated.

Admittedly, I'm usually the one getting everything packed and organizing all the details so that part is very real. But the bottom line is that I'm in desperate need for a vacation. Like NOW.

The second dream takes place in a swimming pool. I'm holding onto the side of the pool while Ian and Jeff are playing in the water to my left. I look up and see an adorable, chunky little infant girl with whispy brown hair sitting on the edge of the pool to my right facing away from me. As I comment on how cute her roly poly legs are, she tumbles backwards into the pool and I catch her just before she reaches the surface. I plop her back on the side and give a raised eyebrow look at her grandfather who is sitting in a lounge chair a few feet away. He shrugs and doesn't move. I watch her out of the corner of my eye and a few minutes later she tumbles into the pool again but this time sinks right to the bottom of the 30 foot area. (That's right, a 30 feet deep pool.) I take a few deep breaths and struggle to the bottom pulling myself along the wall. I grab her in a manner of seconds and quickly surface. I signal the lifeguard who runs over and asks if the baby needs CPR. I check her breathing and pulse and say yes. The young lifeguard struggles to remember how to do infant CPR so quickly I grab her, sit her up and pat her on the back. She spits up and starts to breathe. And again, I wake up. Oh and despite all the detail in the dream, I never saw her face.

Now we are in the pool waiting to adopt our 3rd child so this dream doesn't exactly require deep analysis, does it?

So I think we've discovered three important things:
1) I'm in need of a vacation asap.
2) I'm ready for that baby asap.
3) I'm just not that creative in my dreams.

Another reason not to google medical stuff

2010-02-08T13:29:00.001-08:00

When I was a teenager, I decided to become a vegetarian. My mom says I'm just another casualty of the Bambi generation. I say meat is just yucky. Yucky to think about and yucky tasting. I realize there are many who don't share my opinion and since I don't push my choice on them, I ask that they simply return the favor. It's a kind of don't ask-don't tell dietary policy. Ironically I married an avid fisherman who later took up the hobby of hunting. Suffice it to say that opposites attract. Anyhoo, I'm a devoted veg who occasionally dabbles in a vegan diet.

"The point?" you ask.

After my unfortunate kitchen accident, they applied a substance called Gelfoam to stop the bleeding. They noted that it would fall off on it's own after a few days. Here it is a week later and trust me when I tell you that despite my best efforts the stuff is still stuck like glue. So I did a bit of internet research (always a bad idea) and found this: "Gelfoam...is a water-insoluble, off-white, nonelastic, porous, pliable product prepared from purified pork Skin Gelatin USP granules..."

I am flipping mainlining pig parts. And it doesn't want to come off. Welcome to a vegetarian's worse nightmare.

Mundane details

2010-02-03T13:02:00.000-08:00

I've been getting more spam comments than real comments on my blogs of late so it's time to add a bit of security. I think that last lull in posts worked as a sort of spam lure. For now I'm enabling word verification but should this trend continue I'll have to disallow anonymous comments. (Sorry Mom.) Why must those pesky spammers ruin it for everyone else?

Sadly, that's all the writing inspiration I can muster at the moment. I'm trying to get back on the blogging wagon but topics are alluding me. So if you have any writing prompts to offer, don't hesitate to share them.

Say it with a song

2010-01-31T13:21:00.001-08:00

I love musical theater. I know that some people think it's odd to watch a song and dance number peppered between dialogue. Personally, I prefer it. In fact, I think the world would be a better place if all good and bad news would be communicated through song. Need to fire someone at work? Follow it with a song for the ultimate tension breaker. Getting engaged? Profess your love with a heartfelt ballad. Heck even my son won't clean up his toys until we start one of the clean up songs. Clearly my 2 year old understands the impact of a well timed song.

This morning as I was preparing brunch for some friends, I managed to slice off the tip of my finger along with the core of the apple. (Stupid Rachael Ray apple coring suggestion.) The hubby put my fingertip on ice (along with the piece of apple it rested upon) and I hopped in the car to visit urgent care. After waiting 10 minutes for it to open, I calmly completed the requisite paperwork and then waited with a rag around my bloody finger for another 20 minutes. Finally I was escorted back to a room with unprecedented nonchalance. The nurse took my temperature, checked my pulse and took my blood pressure before even looking at my finger. She handed me gauze to replace the bloody rag and told me a doctor would be right in. True to her word, a doctor rushed in before the door even closed. Apparently he "loves to sew" and was eager to get started. He was sorely disappointed that I hadn't hacked off a larger chunk because there just wasn't enough to sew back on. He explained that he was trained in c-sections (I immediately crossed my legs) and didn't get the chance to sew very often. He threw around words like "cauterize" and "infection" before delegating the work to someone else. That someone else arrived to apply the dressing with remarkable force and I was finally free to go with my ET looking appendage.

Okay, how are these first two paragraphs related? It's simple. A girl sitting in a waiting room clutching her hand in a bloody rag for 20 minutes while the other earache and sniffles patients gawk practically screams for a "Rent"-esque song. And a doctor who loves to sew and is disappointed with my wound cries out for a number straight out of "Spamalot." And of course I could have used an upbeat "25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee" song when the receptionist, nurse, doctor and someone else each asked me if I cut my finger while making breakfast. It's 9am people, of course I cut it making breakfast. I'm not out chopping wood this early after all.

Clearly life would simply be more tasty if strategically seasoned with music.

Splash!

2009-11-03T18:30:00.000-08:00

We're in the pool! You can see for yourselves at this link. Now the wait begins. Interestingly, the couples before and after us on the website both have toddler boys. I'll have to spend some time looking through the site to see what the pool looks like this time around.

Tomorrow I'm off to buy a new infant car seat among other essentials. You know, just in case. Apparently our car seat has "expired." Who even knew that was possible?

For my mom

2009-10-28T09:44:00.000-07:00

My mom has requested that I post something...ANYthing...so she doesn't have to see "I Totally Suck" every time she visits my blog. And I am, as ever, a dutiful and obedient daughter. Thus, I bring you this list of randomness:

My to-do list has just spilled onto a 3rd page - and that's only work items!
We're nearly in the adoption pool for our 3rd baby!!!!!
My brain has apparently reached max capacity and has begun to push out anything it deems unnecessary to store. (This may or may not be related to the first two bullets.)
I'm loving the "Glee Cast" station I set up on Pandora. If you're not watching Glee, I pity you.
Ian is equal parts adorable and trouble right now. (Does that make him trouborable?) One minute he's plopping in my lap with a book signing to me to "read pleeeeease" and then next minute he's trashing about on the floor in full tantrum mode for no apparent reason. Ahhhhh, toddlers.
Can someone explain how Christmas is only 2 months away?
I'm looking forward to being a stay-at-home mom next week while Jeff goes hunting. How many fun activities can I cram into one week? Wait and see people, wait and see.

Well, this post is totally lame but that to-do list isn't going to-do itself so I've gotta run.

Almost there

2009-10-15T08:50:00.000-07:00

Wow, I can't seem to keep up with any of my blogs! Since I last posted, we have completed...

Two home visits
Individual meetings for Jeff and I
Physicals for Jeff and I
Family photo
Family introduction letter
Autobiographies for Jeff and I

Huh, I felt like there was more. Not that this hasn't kept us plenty busy mind you.

Jeff and I have wore the same outfits in our family photo for the family introduction letter in both of our adoptions to date. So we took the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" approach and wore the same thing again! After I lost a bunch of weight, I got rid of all of my clothes EXCEPT this jacket specifically with this adoption in mind. It's a funny little look back at our last five years. Particularly as my hair has gotten shorter in each photo. This will have to be our last adoption as I'm not sure I could pull off a bald head...

The talented Emily Andrews took our family photo this time. And if you think this is good, you should see the individual shots of Ian! I particularly like that he has a second chin in this pic. And if you look closely, you'll see his little index finger pointing. He likes to point out EVERTHING right now so this is totally him.

All of our paperwork and meetings are now complete. We're waiting on one more letter of reference and then we'll officially be in the pool! And then...we wait. And prepare. And wait some more. Fortunately we have Ian to keep us distracted while we wait. Believe me, there is no better distraction than a 20 month-old little boy.

Application & Intake Meeting

2009-09-02T10:52:00.000-07:00

We've been busy little beavers over here in the Next Chapter home (shout out to all the other OSU grads). Here's a quick look at what we've done:

Completed our initial meeting with the counselor - more detail below
Created a draft of our photo collage - this is a 3-5 page collage of casual pictures reflecting our family, home, vacations, hobbies, etc. It's basically designed to give birthfamilies a realistic view of our lives.
Updated my autobiography - another 3-5 pages for each parent recapping our life, values, experiences, etc. I was already up to 5 pages when I updated my autobiography for Ian's adoption so this time I had to edit before I could add. Truth be told, I'm still at 6 pages so I'll trust the counselor to edit from there. I mean, this is my life we're talking about! I'm hardly objective.
Signed the agency contract - this details the process and our commitments. We also paid for the next step in the process, the Home Visit.

Our Application and Intake meeting with the adoption counselor was last Wednesday. Much like last time, we really just used the time to get caught up and to discuss our desire to add to our family through open adoption at this time. For our first A&I meeting, I recall worrying about what to wear and what to say. I think I was concerned that this counselor, whom we'd never met, would solely determine whether I would become a mother. Now that we've been down this road, I'm much more comfortable with the people and the process. In some cases, the counselors may determine that a prospective adoptive parent is not a good fit with the agency. But on the whole, I realize now that these counselors' primary work is trying to accurately portray us to find the right match. At least that's my take on it anyway.

We've scheduled the first of two Home Visits for tomorrow. Considering our counselor only works 3 days a week, we try to be as flexible with scheduling as possible. Fortunately she had an opening so we jumped at it. It wasn't until later that I realized we needed to do a little work on the guest room which will be Ian's new room. Some of you may have that room where all the miscellaneous stuff gets tossed. For us, that is the guest room. Unfortunately, the Home Visit entails walking through EVERY room in the house. So that junky guest room would need to get an overdue cleaning. I'm sure the counselor understands the lack of storage for all those old baby toys and what not. But I'm not comfortable showing her a room you can hardly even walk in! After several late nights and a truckful of Goodwill donations, I feel so much better. The room still needs another deep cleaning but it feels good to purge all that junk! Next step is converting it from the guest room to Ian's room.

Please pray that our Home Visit goes smoothly tomorrow. We've managed to schedule it on our 15th wedding anniversary. What could be a more appropriate celebration?

One more time!

2009-08-23T12:30:00.000-07:00

We've officially started the process to adopt our 3rd baby! We often thought Lillian would be an only child. Our family felt so complete with our little girl to dote upon. Everything was perfect according to OUR plan. But once she earned her angel wings, our hearts were opened. We realized that with the work and worry of parenthood comes utter joy. Though we don't think we're cut out to parent a large brood, we definitely want Ian to have the opportunity to share a close relationship with a sibling like we do with ours. While I would again like to plan each twist and turn on this road to parenthood, there is so much about adoption that is uncertain. So, we're jumping back into the process and leaving the timing in God's hands. (As it should be.)

We ordered the paperwork on July 17th. As this is our third time, much of the paperwork just needed updating. We also had to order certified copies of our Marriage License and Birth Certificates in addition to getting fingerprints taken. (That my friends is the glamorous side of the process.) Just two weeks later, Jeff delivered the initial paperwork and fingerprints to the agency.

The agency then informed that the state now requires 10 hours of adoption training for each family. I asked whether they wanted us to attend the seminar or teach it at this point. (Fortunately she laughed.) So we enrolled in what turned out to be a very introductory class on August 15th followed by about 4 hours of homework. I wish I could say it was a thought provoking course but instead it felt like just another check in a box.

And now, we wait for our first appointment with the counselor. We've tentatively scheduled it for this Wednesday but are waiting for the counselor to return from vacation to confirm the appointment. Fortunately we've been assigned the same counselor as our prior two adoptions so it feels very comfortable.

We don't know whether this journey will take three months or three years but as always, we'll keep you up to date on the process through this blog.

I totally suck

2009-07-26T20:30:00.000-07:00

There's no excuse for a two month gap between posts. Really, I know. All I can say is HOLY HECK have I been busy! This "real job" has kept me real busy. Like a few overnighters in the first month kind of busy. I'm trying to determine whether this is the reality of the job or just a temporary learning curve. My fear is that it is the former. Ultimately I'm desperately trying to find balance. I've learned far too much about the precious gift that is each moment to waste too much time on work. Don't get me wrong, I love the sense of purpose and the way my brain is being pushed. But I also want the sense of fulfillment that can only come from being a mom, wife, daughter, sister and friend. Somehow, someway, I will figure out this balance thing. Mark my words.

As if the work craziness weren't enough, we also managed to raise over $5000 for Relay for Life a couple of weeks ago. Take that cancer! Thanks to everyone who came to the Papa's pizza event, bought raffle tickets or sent a word of encouragement. It was not easy to pull everything together this year and I really couldn't have done it without my amazing teammates and all of your support.

So with work, Relay, my regular contributions to Evergreen Moms and general life stuff, blogging has become a luxury I can't afford. I think every blogger goes through the same curve. It starts with daily posts about any trivial little thing. Then swings into an awkward lull as material dries up (and sometimes interest as well). Next things start to hum again with thoughtfully crafted stories. But when material dries up and time gets limited, you start to question whether blogging is worth it. You don't want to just vomit words on the screen but thoughtful posts take time. Time you don't have. So maybe it's time to call it quits. This is when blogs either hit their stride or shut down completely. What will The Next Chapter bring? We'll see...

A real job

2009-05-21T16:22:00.000-07:00

After three months of worrying and wondering and then worrying some more, we hit the wall. This week, each employee was told whether they had a job with this company or not. I was one of the lucky ones. But I was in no mood to celebrate as I watched five hundred co-workers pack their personal belongings, dash off a final farewell and stumble numbly to their cars. It is unlike anything I've ever experienced. The company handled this with it's trademark compassion and generosity. But these are friends and they have families and well, it's just been heartbreaking to watch.

The request landed in my inbox yesterday an hour and a half before the meeting to discuss my fate was to begin. If you had walked into my office during those 90 minutes, you would have thought I was ill. Pale (no change there I suppose), sweating, shaking and nauseous, I tried to distract myself from the impending reality. I thought 10 years and a good performance record would offer me some protection. But my bubble burst when co-workers with 20, 25 and 30 years of service were let go. I honestly had no idea whether I would make the cut. Lemme tell you, that was a desperately helpless feeling that turns my stomach yet again as I type this.

Once upon a time, my career defined me. It made me feel successful and important and fulfilled. And then my daughter got sick so I took 7 months off of work to care for her. Those are minutes that I wouldn't trade for anything but they were not without consequences. My career has been aimless and faltering ever since as I've bounced from project to project without the security of a permanent job. So as this meeting approached, my prayer was simple:

Lord, thank you that you are faithful to provide for my family. Whether it is with this company or another, would you lead me to a job where I can once again contribute and find fulfillment? A real job that challenges me, that's all I ask. Whatever I am about to hear, help me to respond with grace and wisdom. May your will be done. Amen.

So when I learned that my new job would take me back to where I was 8 years ago, I was surprisingly calm. A real job! A job that I was good at and can be again. A job that will allow me to contribute and find fulfillment. My prayers were answered. And as I pause to reflect, I realize that God has been preparing me for this. Lillian's illness; an aimless return to the workforce; tearful co-worker's goodbyes. All of these brought the perspective I needed to handle the news with a grateful heart. I can't wait to embark on yet another new chapter in my life. And though it's harder to see through the tears, I know God has a plan for the other families impacted by these layoffs. I will be praying for them as their new chapters unfold as well.

Award worthy site!

2009-05-11T11:58:00.000-07:00

Our Walking with Angels website has made it to final voting on About.com for the 2009 Web Design Reader' Choice Awards in the Best Use of Images in Web Design category. Voting begins today and runs through May 22nd.

This little site was created as a way to explain why we participate in Relay for Life and route people to our fundraising page. Even if we don't win, the exposure in these awards could mean more people visiting the site and hopefully more money for the American Cancer Society! This mama's heart is full. Special thanks to the web designer, Red Lace Design for creating an award-worthy site.

What are you still doing here? Vote already!

Relay for Life Fundraisers!

2009-05-04T09:26:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year...we're fundraising for Relay for Life! Once again, we have a name drawing with three terrific prizes and fundraising event at Papa's Pizza. All donations benefit the American Cancer Society. Without further ado, here are the details:

Papa's Pizza Event

Bring this flyer to Papa's Pizza on June 16th and Papa's will donate 50% of the value of the food you purchase! The flyer is valid all day on Tuesday, June 16th but we'll be offering door prizes every half hour from 4-8pm. (Click on the image to enlarge & print. You must bring the flyer for the donation!)

Name Drawings

Tickets are $5 each or 5 for $20
You can donate online using a credit card and email me with your choice of prize.
Or give your cash/check to me in person (if you give me cash, please let me know if you would like a receipt for tax purposes).
Drawing will be held at the Papa's Pizza event on June 16th

You choose which prize drawing you want to enter -

	FALL GETAWAY TO SUNRIVER Enjoy a 3 night stay in September or October at this cozy Sunriver home. Sleeps 6 with a private outdoor hot tub, access to Maverick's Fitness Center and Pool and walking distance to Fort Rock Park. Donated by Suzanne Peters.

	WINE AND CHEESE TASTING PARTY You and 7 guests will be treated to a guided wine and cheese tasting at Thirst Wine Bar and Bistro, Portland's premier wine bar specializing in Pacific NW Wines and Food. Donated by Thirst Wine Bar.

	16GB iPOD TOUCH It's the funnest iPod ever. (Apple's words, not mine) iPod touch puts music, movies, websites, and now games and applications in the palm of your hand. 3,500 songs, 20 hours of video Donated by Jeff and Lori Harris.

Through your donation, you will make a real difference in the lives of people facing cancer – and in the lives of the people who love them. Thank you!

Too much of a good thing

2009-05-02T09:29:00.000-07:00

I recently discovered these chewy 100% fruit snack and have since been throwing them back like candy. Not surprisingly, I managed to consume the entire package in three days. After tossing a handful down the hatch on day 2, I started reading the fine print.

"Each serving, approximately 14 pieces, contains the same amount of fruit as eating 2 small apples."

Woohoo, look at me eating my fruit like a champ.

Then I noticed the number of servings per container...17. And my brain started doing the math.

I have consumed the equivalent of 34 small apples.

In three days.

That can't be good.

Open letter to cranky old ladies

2009-05-01T09:03:00.000-07:00

Dear cranky old lady in the adjoining booth,

Let me be the first to acknowledge that my 15-month old is quite loud. He knows only one volume right now and that volume is admittedly deafening. Those are, however, his happy noises. See, aren't they fun? Let me assure you that his UNhappy noises are at a comparable volume yet much less pleasant to hear. And if you continue to give me the stink eye, I will personally see to it that you are treated to a private concert of his unhappy noises.

Sure, it's adorable that you and your sweetheart are sitting on the same side of the booth. But it may have been a wiser choice to opt for the side not adjacent to a rambunctious toddler. Consider that a friendly tip for your next restaurant experience.

I also find it odd that you have chosen to flash me the death glare despite the raucous din from the neighboring party of eight. Since they are discussing social security benefits loudly enough for the President himself to hear, I think it's safe to point out that they are old enough to control their volume. My 15-month old does not have the same skills at his age nor am I willing to gag him.

Let me assure you that we don't eat in restaurants very often (for my own sanity as much as for your comfort). But when we do, we select family restaurants like this one. You know the kind with high chairs and crayons and kid's menus. The kind with a general hum of noises loud enough to conceal the occasional joyous squeal from my child. The kind with understanding patrons who likely have parented children of their own. In fact, didn't I just hear you talking about your grown children? Have you forgotten the whole Toddler Restaurant Experience? Or perhaps your children were polite little angels who only spoke when spoken to.

I am sorry for disturbing your meal and humbly propose a truce. For my part, I will continue to shush him and cover his mouth as any responsible parent should do. For your part, you can just continue to make a production out of turning down your hearing aid.

Yours truly,
Lori

The left half of me is famous!

2009-04-22T13:08:00.000-07:00

Remember when I was going to be in a commercial? I kind of forgot all about it until today. You can find the left half of me in the far left of your screen at the 0:15 mark. My dear friend/brilliant actress/super-mom to a cancer fighting kiddo is the one speaking in that shot.

(Since the embedded video is not working, you will have to click a link.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vkKAK3FK2g

Not sure how this could possibly be useful but...

2009-04-20T15:34:00.000-07:00

...my brain works in stories.

Let me give you an example. Yesterday, I was trying desperately to enjoy the elusive spring sun. While Ian was napping, I curled up in a recliner conveniently located under some well-positioned skylights and soaked up the warm rays. It was heavenly. After the kiddo woke up and had some lunch, I thought we'd take this another step further and actually go outside. After about 30 seconds of pushing the kiddo on the swings, I realized why I prefer the window-filtered version of the sun to the more direct contact. (You can't get this lily-white skin without some effort at avoiding the outdoors.) As my eyes watered and my nose began to fill, I cursed my allergies and the pollen that causes them.

On the surface, this seems like a perfectly normal albeit annoying little event. But this is what went through my head.

Lori's Twisted Brain (LTB): "Hey, Sun."

(Sun looks around, pointing to himself.)

LTB: "Yeah, I'm talking to you. Dude, what is the deal with you and your party pooping pal Pollen? Do you have to bring him everywhere you go? Seriously, he's a real downer. Next time, come stag and I'll totally hook you up. You know how the girls down here worship you."

(Sun shakes his head modestly.)

LTB: "Oh whatever. You know you're hot! So come on, help a girl out and leave Pollen at home next time."

Seriously people, that is honestly what went through my head after the first sneeze. I have proof of sorts thanks to Twitter. Fortunately the 140 character limit condensed the story to this: "if only the sun would come without bringing the party pooper known as pollen. Aaahhh...ahhhh...achoo!"

The point, and I do have one, is that this little insight about my brain has led to a couple conclusions.

I am often laughing alone. While that dry statistic you just uttered may not seem funny on the surface, my brain has either connected it to a whacky event or has concocted some colorful anecdote to round out your boring little fact.
I can remember nearly anything told to me as a story. This is especially dangerous for those prone to drink and tell around me. Fair warning.
Apparently this is not the way most brains work. Huh. Who knew?

You Tube videos actually worth watching

2009-04-15T15:49:00.000-07:00

Two videos that are making me smile...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkBepgH00GM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

Eternal life insurance

2009-04-08T15:43:00.000-07:00

The second anniversary of Lillian's death came and went on April 4th. I thought about posting but I didn't have anything new to say. I thought this would get easier but I couldn't have been more wrong. I thought I was doing well but I forgot that grief is a roller coaster that can slam you face first into a brick wall without notice. Okay, I'll admit that analogy was muddled but still completely accurate. So forgive me if I'm a little melancholy.

The great thing about the cyber world (blogging, Facebook, Twitter, etc) is it's ability to make the world a smaller community. As I'm learning, that's also the difficult thing about the cyber world. The recent deaths of two children to prominent bloggers set the cyber world ablaze last week. Everywhere I turned there was sadness and anger and confusion and sympathy for these shell shocked families. And the outpouring managed to fuel the fire of sadness in my heart as well. I know all to well the difficult journey unfolding before these heartbroken parents and thus my soul aches for them. So forgive me if I'm a little withdrawn.

And then there's work. The Powers-That-Be are locked behind closed doors as they plan our fate. A few months ago, they announced the intention to layoff 3% of the work force. Needless to say, there has been an anxious vibe ever since. But now that it is obvious the layoff planning is reaching critical mass, the anxiety is palpable. So forgive me if I'm a little worried.

The cumulative effects of these events have crept into every corner of my world. During the busy moments, I move about happily taking each second as it comes. But during the quiet moments, my mind succumbs to the sadness and the worry. It's at those times that I pray. Beseeching God to give me peace. To heal my heart. To show me His plans for my future. But all I hear is the sound of my own desperate pleas.

This relationship between God and I has become lopsided. I ask and ask and ask, yet my Bible sits unopened and I haven't set foot in church for nearly a year. I haven't truly listened for answers.

Then it hit me. I'm treating God like my Eternal Life Insurance policy. By accepting Jesus as my Savior, I was issued a policy that will provide heavenly coverage for eternity, payable upon death. So I stick the policy in a drawer, glance at it every once in a while just to make sure everything is up to date and renew my coverage when I need to.

Okay, that's an exaggeration...but not by much. Today especially, I'm reminded of the willing sacrifice God made for me. And yet all I seem to focus on is the last word of that sentence...me. Shouldn't there be more to this relationship? I know God will give me strength when I am drowning in sadness. I know I will see my angel in heaven again. And if I lose my job, I know I will be okay. Because thankfully, God's love and grace are more steadfast than mine. And maybe I needed these events to remind me of that fact.

Fuzzy gender lines

2009-03-30T14:44:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, Ian was taking a bath and I picked up a tub toy, filled it with water and squirted it. Boring story, right? Oh, did I forget to mention that disgusting black filth came squirting out of that toy? I know, I know. Ewwww. I thought the same thing. And with that, all the squirty toys were instantly tossed in the trash.

So the next day I did what any red-blooded American mom would do, I grabbed the kiddo and headed to the toy store to re-stock the tub with NON-squirting toys. We have a great, family owned toy store near our house that encourages kids to actually play with sample toys. Needless to say, Ian took one look at the place and went ka-ray-zee. He was grabbing toys and running from aisle to aisle with me trailing behind, scrambling to keep up. Suddenly he stopped and I nearly ran him over. He looked at me. He looked at a baby doll. He looked at me. Then he leapt at the baby doll, gave it a squeeze and handed it to me. I said "thank you" then gave the doll a squeeze too before putting it back. He picked it up again, gave it a squeeze and handed it to me. We repeated this routine for some time. With every other toy in the store, he spent a few seconds banging it around before running off. But with the baby doll, he was deliberate and insistent. I wish I knew what was running through his little head! Finally I scooped him up, paid for his new tub toys and we were off.

I have thought about those moments in the toy store ever since. He hasn't been around many babies younger than himself. Yet he was drawn to that doll and wanted me to snuggle with it. Where did he pick up those behaviors? One thing is for certain, kids are amazing little creatures. It's best not to underestimate their powers of observation. I finally decided that Ian should have a baby doll of his very own. I saw a glimpse into his nurturing side and that is a trait I want to foster.

So when I was shopping at Target this weekend, I swung by the doll aisle. It was a veritable sea of pink. There were dolls that cried, talked, crawled, drank from a bottle, peed, even pooped. But I didn't want any of that which left only one choice, a simple baby doll in a pink hat and blanket from the "Little Mommy" collection. I paid for it without a second thought. When I got home, the hubby was on the phone and remarked "for some reason, Lori bought a doll." "It's for Ian," I responded. "For some reason, Lori bought a pink doll for our son," he commented. "They don't come in blue," I replied.

Though that was the last I heard of it, the writing was on the wall. I knew that this doll would get conveniently misplaced. So the next day, Ian and I returned to that little neighborhood toy store to find a more suitable option. We found a simple bald baby doll wearing a striped shirt and denim overalls...for twice the price. The salesperson asked if I wanted it gift wrapped and I pointed at Ian and told her there was no need, it was for him. She congratulated me a little too heartily as she rang up my purchase saying he might grow up to be a pediatrician. Mkay, sure.

I swung by Target and returned the "Little Mommy" doll before heading home. And as I was driving, I was turning over this scenario in my head. It just doesn't make sense to me. Why shouldn't a boy play with a doll wearing pink? My hubby, a stay at home dad, carried around a baby dressed in pink after our daughter was born and no one thought twice about that. So why isn't it natural for my son pretend to be a daddy and play with a pink doll? Is it just me or does this little societal quirk seem strange to you too?

So I have this friend...

2009-03-23T20:46:00.001-07:00

I have a friend who wanted to lose 25 lbs by her birthday which is now one month away. Anyway, at this point, my friend has lost and gained the same 5 lbs so many times that she's about to give up. Here are a few COMPLETELY MADE UP signs that my friend's plan isn't going to happen OR SOMETHING. Remember these examples are totally fabricated and in no way represent reality. Also, the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Half of her 20 minute workout this morning was the warm up cool down.
She tried Lisa Rinna's "Dance Body Beautiful: Learn and Burn" workout and Lisa's black unitard with gold belt and boring, repetitious movements make my friend flashback to the Jane Fonda videos of old.
She finished exercising and there is not a single drop of sweat on her workout clothes.
She is routinely consuming a serving of soy chocolate pudding mixed with vegan chocolate chips. At 9:15pm. And chasing it with a handful of organic corn nuts.
Her hubby looks over from the couch and says "I can't believe you just ate an entire bag of [baked] barbecue potato chips in one sitting." And she responded "I know, they need to make bigger bags."

Whatever.

Planning for the worst, hoping for the best

2009-03-18T09:31:00.000-07:00

My company announced that layoffs would be coming in the next couple of months. Even though I don't know if my job will be impacted, we've put the brakes on spending. Things we previously considered "necessities" have been downgraded to "luxuries" and eliminated. It's been a good exercise even though I fear we're effectively screwing the economy. Sorry everyone.

Here are some of the cuts we've made recently.

Our pipes are old and our water is not fluoridated so the lovely folks at Cascade Springs had been bringing 5 gallon bottles of clean, fluoridated water to our doorstep. Clearly a necessity, right? Wrong. We've installed a faucet filter and are getting fluoride drops for free from the pharmacy.

We live in a wooded area and thus have problems with pests. Ants, yellow jackets, four-footed-furry-friends, the works. In order to ward off these unwanted visitors, the fine folks from Barrier Pest Control spray toxic chemicals all around our property once a quarter. Not exactly the healthiest choice but hey, neither is having mice scamper through your pantry. Since the hubby is doing most of the work (he is the Great White Hunter you know), he has decided to take over all extermination responsibilities. Beware critters.

Gone are the housekeepers. (This has been the hardest cutback by far!) Buh bye magazine subscriptions. So long Netflix.

It really hasn't been that hard to cut out these little extras. In fact, I'm wondering why we needed them in the first place. And since those were so easy, I've got a few other ideas rattling around in my brain. I'm considering eliminating our land line (except we bundle this service so I'm not sure if that would save any money in the long run). I'm going to talk to my hair stylist to see if we could do color every other appointment.

Although this has been a good exercise, my hope is that my job is secure and we don't need to make anymore cuts. Frankly, that next layer of expenses wouldn't be as easy to cut and would impact our standard of living. Bottom line, it would hurt a little...but not a lot.

How about you? Has this economy caused you to make changes? Any advice for saving money?

Unfortunately...

2009-03-13T16:34:00.000-07:00

Busy doesn't begin to describe my life the last couple of weeks. From work to vacation, to LOTS of work to the stomach flu to LOTS MORE work, I've completely fallen off the virtual planet.

Well I'm back internet. I've missed you. But unfortunately this is all I can offer you today.

Instructions: Do a web search for "Unfortunately [your name]" including the quote marks and write down your favorite results.

Unfortunately, Lori has now disappeared from the Web. (I know! We already covered that. Let's move on already.)
Unfortunately, Lori’s jet-setting big-city life isn’t what she dreamed it would be. (Yeah, where is that jet anyway?)
Unfortunately, Lori has retired from being the Director of Fan Relations as of Spring 1998. (I can't tell you how hard it is to relate to fans. I much prefer air conditioning.)
Unfortunately, Lori fell for Mark's deceptions, and he plucked her up out of her world, and wove her within his complex web of lies. (Darn you Mark and your plucking and deceiving.)
Unfortunately Lori doesn't play any of the music on this CD. (That's right people, I rock.)
Unfortunately Lori passed away in October 2005 leaving a huge loss in the schnauzer community. (Hey, are you calling me a female dog?)
Unfortunately Lori it's not that simple. (Sadly, it never is.)
Unfortunately, Lori cannot overpower the swarm of burly bodyguards surrounding the mobster, in spite of her formidable fighting prowess. (And don't you forget it!)
Unfortunately Lori won't be able to make it this year due to her very large pregnant belly. (Dude, I'm not pregnant.)
Unfortunately, Lori, you are experiencing what we call a flare-up. (Well of course I am, did you read #6 and #9?)
Unfortunately, Lori just wants to be friends (without benefits). (Uh, yeah, I'm married!)
Unfortunately, Lori, my dear Packer-loving friend, these socks were made ESPECIALLY for my feet. (It's just a sock, relax.)
Unfortunately, Lori seems to have forgotten how rough it was the first time she married a prisoner. (The second time's a charm, right?)
Unfortunately, Lori never really attained the stardom she so richly deserved (and never posed naked). (What's up with that? I totally deserve to attain stardom. With my clothes on TYVM!)

Disillusioned

2009-02-19T09:15:00.000-08:00

I am all fired up about this week's "The Biggest Loser" episode. And not in a good way.

I've bored you with my weight loss tales for a year so you know that I've lost over 50lbs by eating right and exercising with fitness DVD's. I have not stepped foot into a gym at all during this time. The only special equipment I've used are hand weights and frankly, a couple cans of soup would have worked just as well. So when the contestants on "The Biggest Loser" were locked out of the gym for a week in sunny Southern California, I didn't think it was such a big deal. Go for a flipping run outside instead of on the treadmill. Fill a couple jugs with water and you've got hand weights. Try some water aerobics in that crystal blue pool. It's not that hard people.

But the contestants were practically crying. Which is fine. They can whine and cry if they want. It's hard when someone throws off your routine. If someone told me I had to workout in a gym for a week, I'd probably whine too. The commute, the germs, the girl wearing perfume and makeup on the elliptical, the communal changing rooms. Eck. But when Jillian, my hero and personal trainer, started whining too, I wanted to slap her silly.

First she complained because she's not an outdoor girl. Neither am I. So she decided to convert the living room into a gym of sorts. Perfect, I do the same thing with my kid's playroom. Move on.

Then she moans about how much she loves her equipment and toys. Mkay...

Finally she starts training her team with moves that were very familiar. Mountain climbers. Jumping rope. Plank stands. All the torture she inflicts on me through her workout videos. I'm thrilled to see other people sweating and huffing through the same moves instead of the typical uber-fit women from the videos.

And then Jillian says this: "I basically did like a horrendous host of fitness videos circa 1980's. But you know, that stuff used to work. That crap." [2:38 mark in the video]

With that, I lost my mind. I forked over my hard earned cash for 10 of those "horrendous fitness videos" that SHE created (none of which are circa 1980's). I workout with that "crap" every freaking day. I lost 50 lbs by sweating to that "stuff [that] used to work." So when a trainer who I respect(ed) starts making fun of those workouts, I tend to get a little mad.

If they are so outdated, why does she make fitness videos? If she loves her toys so much, why does she create video workouts that don't involve treadmills and weight machines? If she is such a gym rat, why does she tell me that her 30 Day Shred workout will "take the place of hours of phoning it in at the gym, if you give me 20 minutes of intensity."

Talk about hypocritical! Grrrrrrrrrr.

Love on Valentine's Day

2009-02-13T10:59:00.000-08:00

Mkay, normally I don't weigh myself everyday. The roller coaster is just too much to bear. But after yesterday's debacle, I couldn't resist. Those extra 2lbs have magically disappeared despite splurging on soda and chips & salsa with lunch. Which just reminds me why I shouldn't weigh myself everyday. It makes no sense.

Blah, blah, blah, enough about my weight loss efforts. Let's talk about something warm and fuzzy for a change.

I don't know about you but Valentine's Day completely snuck up on me this year! As luck would have it, we made last minute plans to go to central Oregon for the long weekend. Both of my kids' birthfamilies live there so we thought it would be fun to visit them for a change. (They usually come to us.) We're looking forward to catching up with my son's extended birthfamily in addition to his birthmom. My daughter's birthmom is expecting a new baby in just a few months so it will be exciting to rejoice over their growing family.

Huh, I guess we managed to make Valentine's Day plans after all. There is nothing more appropriate than spending the day celebrating our mutual love for these beautiful kids that made us family.

How about you, any big plans for tomorrow?

What a morning.

2009-02-12T09:16:00.001-08:00

It's only 9:15am and already this day has served me a giant crap sandwich. Being the generous person that I am, I thought I would share it with you. If I'm going down, I'm taking you all with me. Haha, just kidding. Maybe.

It all started when I reluctantly crawled out of bed and stepped on the scale. Normally I wait until after my workout to weigh myself but I recently read that the number may be higher post exercise and I wanted to test the theory.

Let me pause to mention that on "The Biggest Loser" this week, a contestant who had immunity gained 2 lbs. Convenient, right? Though she did a commendable acting job, I was convinced that she was water logged for her immunity weigh-in so that she would have better numbers next week. Not a bad plan and I wouldn't blame her a bit.

Okay, enough about her, let's talk about me some more. So I hopped on the scale and through bleary eyes, I was horrified to see the number. I gained 2 lbs?! How is that possible? I redoubled my efforts this week with daily work outs and stellar eating. SO HOW COULD I GAIN WEIGHT? Suddenly, I had a new found empathy for that Biggest Loser contestant. Perhaps she wasn't acting after all. And then my clearly rational mind decided that I must be harboring 5 lbs of...um...pee. Yes, that's the problem, I just need to go potty and work out and the number will be reasonable again.

After visiting the loo, I dragged my pitiful self back to the playroom for a workout convinced it would make the difference. But when I returned to the scale, I found basically the same stupid number. [insert numerous 4-letter words here] My initial response was an immediate craving for potato chips and donuts with a chocolate milk shake chaser. Huh, I wonder how I ended up weighing over 200 lbs? I resisted that temptation but boy, oh boy am I discouraged.

And that's the bread in this crap sandwich. Now onto the creamy middle.

The morning's scale shenanigans meant that I was running late. So I ran out to the car to find the windows were frozen over. I turned on the heater and popped the trunk to get out the ice scraper. Before I got to the ice scraper, I grabbed the paper from the driveway as I do everyday. I toss it onto the porch before I leave for work so that it's more convenient for the hubby. I know, I know, I'm wonderful. Anyhoo, I grabbed the paper, walked over to the porch and gave it a toss. The world started moving in slow motion as the paper flew into the air and ricocheted off the light fixture. My hands flew to my mouth in horror as the globe cover came crashing down. All I could do is shake my head and return inside to get a broom. Did I mention that I was running late?

The final layer in the crap sandwich came shortly after I arrived at work. I screeched into the parking lot, ran to my office, dropped my purse, grabbed my bag and dashed to my first meeting. As soon as I entered the room, my new boss stood, walked around the conference table and quietly asked me to leave. Again. It's a long story but suffice it to say that my work doesn't naturally fit with any one group so they moved me over to report to the HR organization. Needless to say, there is a lot of confidential information passed around at an HR staff meeting. Which means that I am typically asked to leave from about 90% of the meetings. Normally I just shrug and exit without a second thought. But after the earlier blows, this one hurt.

And that is just the first 3 hours of my day. Frankly, I'm a little worried about what more is to come!

I don't know about you but I'm going to have a soda and chips & salsa with my burrito for lunch. Screw it. I need something to wash down this crap sandwich.

25 Random Things

2009-02-03T16:20:00.000-08:00

I've been tagged a million times for the "25 Random Facts" note on Facebook. Normally I ignore those things but the peer pressure is just too much. (Well, that and I've got nothing else to write about at the moment.) Unfortunately, probably due to a combination of this blog, my big mouth and a relatively boring existence, I'm having trouble coming up with 25 random facts that are still...well...interesting. Here goes:

In Elementary School, I was voted "Most Likely to Become the First Woman President of the United States." In High School, I was voted "Most Likely To Succeed." Apparently even at a young age, I was ~~a natural leader~~ a know it all.
Funny enough, I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. Is it too late to figure that out? I wish I had a job that was easy to explain and made a difference in the world. Like firefighter or nurse. But without the fire and blood.
I would love to write a book but have no idea what it would be about. Give me some ideas and I'll totally dedicate the book to you. No monetary compensation however. I'm cheap.
Speaking of cheap, I don't gamble. The risk of losing my hard earned money outweighs the hope of making more.
I'm not very good at thinking on my feet which means I'm much more articulate in writing than in person.
Because I'm not very good on my feet, I worry about how I'm going to answer those big, spontaneous questions from my kids. Like "where do babies come from?" Do you think I'll be able to spend a couple of days writing out the answer and then submit it for their consideration?
I love public speaking. If I know the material and have a general idea of what I want to say, I can usually muddle through any speech fairly well. Which completely contradicts #5 I know. What can I say? I'm complicated.
I met my hubby at age 16 and married him at 21. Let that be a warning to all of you who have teenagers. Their BF/GF may be their future spouse so be nice.
My hubby wanted to have kids immediately after marriage (keep in mind we were 21). I wasn't even sure I wanted kids at all.
I don't miss the pregnancy part of parenthood at all. Adoption has it's advantages and that's a big one in my book!
I hate being embarrassed. And probably embarrass too easily. To the point that I re-hash the most insignificant things in my mind for years.
I love to sing but after a bad choir experience in college, I've lost my nerve to sing in public. (See #11) But my hubby and kiddos get an earful. Lucky them!
I love to dance but only with a choreographed routine. Freestyle is not my style, yo.
(10 more, are you kidding me?!) I love musical theater and movies and tv with dancing. Bring back "Fame!"
I wish I knew how to sew. I'm not sure what I would make but it would be handy to at least be able to alter some pants or make some curtains.
My style is pretty much copied from things I see on mannequins or on websites. I wish I had the ability to pull together a unique style all on my own.
Similarly, I'm a lousy interior decorator. I try to buy accessories but never seem to find a home for them. And much of my furniture is still hand-me-downs.
I wish I were a better listener. I have a nasty habit of finishing people's sentences as though I know exactly what they're going to say. I annoy myself but can't seem to stop!
I think I talk too much. Questions rarely have a simple yes/no answer with me.
I can remember any personal story anyone has ever told me. And I have a great memory for numbers. I'm not sure how either of these is helpful.
I don't drink. (Probably goes back to #11) This has been known to cause animosity at work events where drinking is involved. People assume that I'm storing up their crazy drunken behavior for blackmail purposes or something. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not...
I have no perception for social nuance or hidden agendas. None. You've gotta spell it out for me people.
I'm not a good napper. It takes too long for me to turn off my brain.
I don't like massages for the same reason.
(FINALLY!) I've never been worried about job security. I always considered my jobs indispensable. Until now. Now I'm worried.

Random is an understatement for this list. If you made it to the end, you deserve a medal. You'll have to settle for this: it's over, you made it, well done!

New shoes

2009-01-27T13:51:00.001-08:00

Getting shoes on the kiddo is torture. Like most 1 year olds, just getting him to sit still for 5 seconds is a challenge in itself. It's like performing some sort of circus act to simultaneously sing him a song, hand him a toy and persuade a shoe onto his foot. So when the shoe WON'T GO ON, I'm understandably annoyed.

At first I thought he was curling his toes when I stuffed his foot into a shoe. Then I realized he just has a high instep (aka - fat foot). So I got him some non-skid slippers for around the house since those non-skid socks are pretty darn slippery and the wood floors are pretty darn cold. And really, he doesn't walk around much outside just yet.

When a few rare occasions demanded actual footwear, I remembered a terrific bag of hand-me-down shoes just waiting in his closet. I did the "mom sizing" method and held up the smallest shoe (size 3) to the bottom of his foot. Too small. So I dug through the bag and found some size 4's and repeated the mom sizing method. Perfect. Until I tried to push his little foot in the darn thing. Shove and pull and stretch as I might, it was not going to fit. So I tossed those aside and grabbed an adorable pair of size 4 Chuck Taylors from the bag. I opened the laces as wide as they would go and managed to squeeze a foot into a shoe and tighten the laces before he made his escape. Sweating, I once again wrangled him onto my lap and crammed the second foot into the shoe. Success!

Like a good mom, I realized that shoes should not be this difficult to put on. I pushed on the toe box and determined that he had plenty of room. But I thought I would print out the official Stride Rite online fit chart just to be sure. Try getting a 1 year old to stand on a piece of paper in just the right spot. And then try getting the same 1 year old to continue to hold still while you wrap another piece of paper around the ball of his foot to check the width. Just take my word for it, it's not worth the effort. The fit chart confirmed that he was a 4 medium. Then why is it so hard to get the right size shoes on his feet?!

The hubby announced a hatred for the slippers and cannot get the Chuck Taylors on the kiddos fat foot. So off we went to Nordstrom to cash in some of Mommy's precious credit card points. But with service no where to be found and a mediocre selection at best, we opted to journey down the mall to the Stride Right store. The same store where Nana & Papa bought his big sister her first pair of real shoes.

The lovely sales associate greeted us warmly, measured both feet and declared him to be a 5.5 EXTRA WIDE. Um, what? No wonder those 4 medium's were so hard to get on! I picked a couple of styles as the kiddo wandered to the Leapstart table to play. An older girl joined him making happy small talk with my child who has only recently uttered his first consonant. The associate returned with three acceptable choices, I wrangled the kiddo away from his new friend and easily slid his feet into his new giant shoes.

While I won't bore you with the details of my heart palpitations as I signed the receipt for these shoes which will likely only last 3 months, our story doesn't end here. As I handed over a ridiculous wad of cash, the kiddo toddled off to say hi to his new friend. Being new to the shoe game, he barely made it over to her before wobbling and falling gently to his booty. I remember the same awkward steps when his big sister tried out her first shoes as well. Before I could reach him, his friend wrapped her arms around his waist and hoisted him to his feet. Smiling at her sweetness, I thanked her and said good-bye. As we turned to leave, I heard her remark to the sales associate "hi, I'm Lily and I'm five."

Of course her name is Lily. Just like his big sister.

Feeling old

2009-01-23T14:32:00.000-08:00

My first introduction to computers was in elementary school in 1983. Three shiny new Apple IIe's were available to a select group of handpicked students for a half hour each day. I was one of those lucky few. Despite their modest teacher's salaries, my parents had the foresight to buy one of these precious machines for our home as well. Complete with a daisy wheel printer, I used that workhorse through high school.

Unfortunately the Apple IIe was too big and cumbersome to take with me to college. So I managed just fine with an electric typewriter. Fellow students often begged to borrow my fancy schmancy typewriter which shows you just how few options there were. A computer lab had just popped up in a dorm basement. But since the internet didn't exist, computers were primarily word processing tools. And with so few computers available in the lab, you couldn't hog a machine for the length of time needed to write a paper. So really, what was the point?

At my first job, I graduated to a laptop and Lotus 1-2-3 software. I don't think we had a mouse as we used keystroke codes for opening files and formatting and such. (Anyone remember /-File-Retrieve?) EVERYTHING was done in a spreadsheet from cover letters to business plans. The internet still didn't exist nor did e-mail so we ran from floor to floor with 3.5" disks to transfer information. The only reason we needed the laptop was to upload files from a particular software program into the one centralized docking station in the building.

When I found out my next company had Excel, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Not to mention that a year after I started, we also got e-mail. Of course, only within the company so documents to external folks still required heavy use of fax machines. One of our primary software programs came with a 3" binder of codes as push button shortcuts didn't exist. This was also my first experience at travelling with a laptop. Of course it stayed in my hotel room during the day. I would go from place to place writing down information on paper and then transferring into the computer in the evenings.

In 1999, I came to my current company and a whole new world opened up. We had laptops, e-mail, color monitors, the INTERNET! My fax usage dropped from several times a day to a few times a year. Now I am completely addicted to my ~~Crackberry~~ Blackberry and am never more than a keystroke away from the internet.

Why do I take you on this trip down memory lane? Certainly not to date myself. It's hard to believe this evolution only spans the last 25 years. No, this diatribe was spurred by a group of MIT students who have taken over a conference room in my building for a project. While that in itself is a little strange, I can't help but notice a larger change in the conference room as I walk by. This conference room has become a veritable sea of laptops. And that made me pause to think.

Though my company is current with technology, you rarely see a single laptop in a meeting unless someone is giving a presentation. Notes are still taken by hand on pen and paper. Group discussions are first written on white boards and flip charts and later transcribed into a computer. It's certainly not the most efficient process but oddly, no one seems to question it.

Which makes me wonder: when will we begin to question it?

College students today bring their laptops to every class. Unlike me, they grew up with computers. They live on the internet. Their primary communication vehicles are digital. As this generation of graduates enters the workforce, will they conform to our pad-and-paper-ways or will we conform to theirs?

So what I'm really trying to say is...I feel old.

Good help is hard to find

2009-01-16T09:11:00.001-08:00

Every other Friday brings drama to our household. Because every other Friday is house cleaning day. While I love coming home to a clean house, it's not as exciting for the hubby and kid who have to find something to do for 3 hours. That means packing up toys, bottles, food, etc and trying to get the kid to nap in the car or at someone else's house. When I started working 4 - 10's, I got to experience this hairball firsthand and lemme tell ya, it's no fun.

I have learned that every housekeeper has strengths and weaknesses. The key to success is finding weaknesses that you can live with. With our housekeepers, they do a great job with the big stuff but the details are often overlooked. Pictures are not put back in the proper place. Cobwebs are growing behind the fireplace screen. That kind of thing. So after each cleaning, I would re-arrange the pictures and dust behind the fireplace screen and generally count my blessings for not having to do more.

A few months ago, things started going downhill fast. First I came home after cleaning day and found a broken faucet in a bathroom. Thankfully my Dad was coming for a visit and I put him to work on it. I gave the housekeepers the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps it broke after they left. Perhaps they didn't notice it was broken. Surely they would have left a note.

Then I noticed our white base moldings that we painstakingly painted, cut and installed last year had a black line running across them about an inch off the floor. Nothing a Magic Eraser can't take care of, right? I would just remind the housekeepers not to bang the vacuum into the moldings.

Then they didn't show up for their scheduled time after Thanksgiving.

Finally, the piece de resistance occurred. Two weeks ago, I came home and found a 4" scratch in the new bamboo floors. NEXT TO A 6" GASH! Again, there was no note. That was the last straw, they had to go.

But how would I get the key back? And did I really want to go through the hassle of finding new housekeepers? Two guys clean our house in 3 hours, could I find another cleaner who could be as quick? Maybe the gash isn't that bad...

Today is housecleaning day. As I was writing the check, I glanced at the bamboo floor and saw the gash. Again the irritation rose up and I found my determination again. At the last minute, I wrote a note explaining that we would no longer be able to continue with their housecleaning services. I left the usual check and asked them to leave the key under the mat when they finished. Obviously I found my determination but not my courage. I know it's completely ridiculous to fire someone in a note. I reasoned that their English isn't great and sometimes we have a hard time communicating over the phone. But really, I took the wimpy way out. I wasn't proud but it was done.

Or so I thought. Normally the housekeepers arrive at 8:30am and finish by 11:30am. But today, my cell phone rang at 9am. I thought they got the note and wanted to discuss it. Instead, they were calling to tell me that they weren't coming until 11. (This isn't the first time they've pulled this stunt either.) Because tomorrow is the kid's birthday party and I haven't allowed time to clean the house myself, I told them 11am would have to work. And then I calmly explained that this would be their last day. They said okay and we left it at that. I hung up and called the hubby who was understandably irritated. He and the kid had already left and now couldn't return for 5 hours instead of the usual 3.

So now I hope for the best. I hope that when I get home tonight, the house is clean, the key is under the mat and our valuables are where we left them. I hope that the hubby is mysteriously sedated. And I hope the kid is miraculously rested. Somehow, I doubt all of these hopes will happen. I think I may need to work late tonight...

Mediocre results

2009-01-15T13:37:00.000-08:00

I thought I was fired up about this next chapter of weight loss. So why don't I feel the slightest bit guilty when I have chips with my burrito at lunch? Last year, the thought wouldn't have entered my mind to even consider such an act. This year, I'm tossing back the chips without a single remorse. Does that mean I'm not ready to really give this my all? Do I need a competition of some sort to give me that extra motivational push? I wish I understood the big mental difference between my success and drive last year vs. this year. It's all very confusing.

On the upside, I have worked out consistently since Jan 1. I'm walking a little taller. I feel a little stronger. I don't think twice about getting out of bed in the morning for a work out. That's progress. And as work is keeping me busier lately, I find myself walking a lot more from building to building for meetings. A little extra cardio throughout the day is always good.

I wish the results on the scale better reflected the consistent workouts and generally healthy eating. But clearly those occasional dietary splurges are impacting the numbers. Dang it, I thought I'd get away with it! I lost 3 lbs the first week which was great but compared to the 8 lbs I lost in week 1 last year, it was disheartening. My head knew it would be harder this time but my heart was still holding out hope for big numbers! To add insult to injury, I weighed in today and discovered I barely lost a single pound in the second week. Seeing that lackluster loss on the scale hit me in a different way. I'm not disappointed, I'm MAD. All that sweating. All those early mornings. All those salads. FOR A MEASLY POUND. Are you kidding me?

Which leaves me with the big questions. The questions which ultimately determine success. Will I find a way to channel that anger productively? Or will the slow progress be enough to derail my efforts entirely?

Traditions Old & New

2009-01-08T11:07:00.000-08:00

When Lillian was around 6 months old, we took a day trip to the coast with some friends. While browsing through the requisite candy shop that exists in every beach town, I found a plate that reads "Birthday Princess." Instantly, I hatched an idea for a new birthday tradition. Each year, our birthday princess would eat her special slice of cake from this plate. So I bought it and carefully transported it home. That plate was indeed used a both of her birthdays.

With Ian's first birthday soon approaching, I wanted to find a special plate for him as well. I searched the internet and wasn't impressed with what I found. True to form, I thought "hey, I can make that!" I've always been more certain of my craft abilities than I should be.

Shortly after Christmas, I recruited my lovely sister-in-law for some pottery painting bonding time. We met at the pottery painting shop and I found my plate while my SIL browsed. She stopped at the Christmas tree decorated with plain ceramic ornaments and instantly, I hatched an idea for a new Christmas tradition.

Like many families, I had the idea of purchasing an ornament for my kids each year. I had visions of laughing over memories of Christmases past as we hung each precious ornament on the tree. A fire crackled in the background. Sips of hot chocolate would punctuate each story. Oh yeah, I had the whole thing figured out. Except the part where I actually found and purchased that special ornament apparently. So on New Year's Eve, at the pottery painting store in front of the tree dotted with naked ceramic ornaments, I pounced. My poor SIL didn't have a chance.

"Hey, why don't you make an ornament for Ian? If you make it, I'll pay for it!"

I was a little too enthusiastic but fortunately my SIL is a saint and readily agreed. She picked the ~~oven mit~~ mitten ornament and set to work. And soon, the perfect design was complete. I can almost smell the fire and taste the hot chocolate as I picture telling Ian about this memorable Christmas.

"You probably don't remember your first Christmas Ian. It snowed and Snowed and SNOWED! See the snowflakes on your ornament? We were stuck at home for a week just watching the snow fall. And just when the snow began to melt, Santa brought you a most unusual gift. See those red dots on your ornament? You woke up on Christmas day with the chicken pox! Auntie M made this ornament especially for you. It tells the story of your first Christmas."

Thus a new Christmas tradition is born. Oh, and a birthday tradition is continued. But the real question remains...how many years will Ian allow me to serve his birthday cake on this handmade creation? I'm taking bets.

If it were up to me...

2009-01-05T16:10:00.000-08:00

...the first day back to work after a long holiday break OR vacation for that matter would be a half day. We need some transition time! How can we be expected to instantly go from sitting on the couch all day to sitting in a chair all day? How I ask you?

...car dealers would be honest. Am I to believe this scenario: 1) Drop broken car off on Monday. 2) Car is diagnosed as broken (duh) and part is ordered. 3) As of Friday, the part still hasn't arrived. The service guy assigned to my car is coincidentally not at work on Friday. 4) Today, my car is magically ready to go. The service guy assigned to my car is also back at work today. Seriously, is that believable? Let me paint the more likely scenario: 1) same 2) same 3) Service guy goes on vacation on Wednesday, meanwhile part arrives. 4) Service guy returns, plugs in part and car is ready to go.

...I would not start eating sugar again...EVER. The detox headaches are sooooooo not worth it. My body is still reeling from the holiday binging. Overall it's really not happy with this whole healthy eating and exercising routine but sooner or later, it will have to accept this new reality. I'm in charge Body, do you hear me? Suck it up! You're not getting any cinnamon bears no matter how hard you beg.

That's my top 3 for today, what's yours?

I'm already on my way to being shredded

2009-01-01T06:50:00.000-08:00

Remember when I said I was going to find balance in December? Something about splurging on occasion but overall maintaining my current weight. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah well, that works in theory. Until you get snowed in for 8 days. And then your kid gets the chicken pox. So basically you're home for weeks on end. Locked in a house with a seemingly unending supply of butter and shortening. It wouldn't be Christmas without baked goods, right? And those platters of cookies you intended to give to friends but couldn't because of the snow? Well, of course you would eat them before they went bad. Because you don't believe in waste! (Not for cookies anyway.) And by you, I mean me. And by "maintaining my current weight", I meant "gain 5 lbs." Apparently.

So here I am on the first day of the New Year, revising my goal from 25lbs to 30lbs. On the upside, I've already worked out today. Hooray! Both a 30 Day Shred workout AND a little abs & back workout from Exercise TV On Demand. That's two, count them TWO workouts on day 1. Thank you very much.

Fortunately the cookies are gone and the house is nearly empty of forbidden foods. Now I just need to plan some healthy meals for the week and fill the shelves with good foods. Geez, it's only 7am, I need to pace myself!

Life Lessons from Target

2008-12-29T21:26:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I broke free and ran to Target. I know, I know, I like to live dangerously. It has been so long since I've had contact with the outside world, I almost forgot how crazy people are. Leave it to the colorful world of Target to present me with a quick dose of reality.

After a quick and painless return, I browsed the aisles looking for a few things. Hunched over her cart and lumbering down the aisle about 4 feet in front of me was a middle aged woman. Nothing unusual there. Until she cut the cheese without so much as flinching. She farted in my general direction! Despite my surprise, I managed to keep my wits about me and immediately implemented the emergency protocol - close, hold and dodge. (That's close your mouth, hold your breath, and dodge the fumes in case you didn't learn this particular protocol in school.)

After narrowly escaping, I made my way to the checkout area eager to avoid another incident. Suddenly I hear a woman screaming "JUST GO GET IN LINE!!!" Like rubber neckers to a train wreck, all the customers turned to look at the commotion and I watched the drama unfold. A woman holding a toddler was screaming at her husband who was holding a preschooler and a carton of diapers. He looked equal parts bewildered and scared but managed to eek out a small protest before his wife started again. "JUST GET IN LINE. I'LL BE THERE IN ONE SECOND. IF YOU GET TO THE COUNTER, TELL THEM YOUR WIFE HAS THE RECEIPT AND SHE IS COMING IN JUST A SECOND." He just stared, blinking for a moment. "GO! GET! IN! LINE! NOW!!!" He turned, tail between his legs and did as he was told. I watched as his wife ran down the aisle in the opposite direction with the toddler bouncing on her hip.

After recovering from the shock of this display, it suddenly occured to me that while these people are clearly crazy, I too have my moments. Admittedly, I like things done WHEN I like them done and HOW I like them done. In those private moments at home while trying to gather up everything to run out the door somewhere, anywhere, I have been known to get a little, teeny, tiny bit snappy with the dear hubby. Never in public. I'm not that crazy. And never to that extent. I hope. Boy, was that poor man's public humiliation a slap in the face to me as well.

While I will work on being more open and relaxed, let's hope I don't get so relaxed and open that I start tooting in public without hesitation or remorse. People, there's relaxed and there's RELAXED. Sheesh.

Christmas Memories

2008-12-26T11:12:00.000-08:00

Christmas marked our 6th consecutive day of being confined to our house by a snowy jailer. In many ways, it reminded me of that Christmas two years ago when Lillian had just finished her 2nd round of chemo. We were stuck at home then as well and spent a quiet Christmas, just the three of us. But back then, that stifling feeling of confinement was outweighed by overwhelming gratitude to be home instead of in the hospital. How's that for perspective? Suddenly, another day at home doesn't seem so bad.

As if those similarities weren't enough, Ian spiked a 101 degree fever on the big day. And the fever was soon accompanied by spots and whining. (Poor kid!) Yep, this Christmas definitely brought back some memories. Fortunately the doctor on call today says it's likely just a viral infection. Little did we know at the time but that quiet Christmas at home was perfect for our sick kiddo.

We're counting our blessings today and holding our sick baby tight. It looks like a few more days at home are likely in our future but that's all right with me. Sometimes these are the little reminders we need to slow down and enjoy the moment.

Even the tree gets an extra dose of Christmas cheer this year...

What? You mean to tell me you're still watering your tree?

Brrrrrrrr!

2008-12-22T13:27:00.000-08:00

The world has turned to white and there is no signs of a thaw. I'm beginning to wonder if global warming is a myth. For now, I'm feeling grateful for our newly restored power as I admire the view from our windows...

Snow in Oregon

2008-12-18T09:24:00.000-08:00

Top 5 ways you know it's snowing in Oregon (other than looking out the window).

5. Chains and traction tires are required for driving but there will still be a lady in 3" platform heels hobbling across an icy parking lot to get her latte from Starbucks.

4. No one will leave their house for days until the news notifies us that there is a brief gap between storms. At this point every human on the planet will go to the grocery store and clear the shelves of potato chips and Duraflame logs.

3. Kids will snowboard in the streets, build snowmen and have snowball fights on the first day off from school. On the second day, their parents will start drinking heavily and complaining about school closures on Facebook.

2. When you finally get around the white knuckled drivers going 15mph while tapping their breaks and manage to crank the ole speedometer up to a daring 30mph, some idiot will pull out like his life depended on getting in front of you. And then he will slow to a crawl until he coasts to a stop in order to park diagonally on an incline at a stop sign.

1. The news preempts Oprah for yet another hour in their continuing coverage of the "Arctic Blast". Which essentially is telling us that it's still snowing, it may or may not be sticking and it could continue. Or not.

Don't mess with me Jack

2008-12-16T20:55:00.000-08:00

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. A white Christmas even! After just a few days of this cold, snowy weather, I'm ready to move on. How on earth do people live with this white stuff all winter long? It's too bad the forecast is for more snow. I guess I can tolerate it as long as it doesn't start messing with some important plans. On Friday, I have a much needed haircut scheduled. I NEEEEEEED this haircut. My pixie do is more like a helmet right now. And more importantly, we're supposed to travel to Seattle and back on Saturday to visit Ian's extended birthfamily. We've really been looking forward to this visit. So Jack Frost had better cooperate. Do you hear me Jack? Trust me, you do not want to mess with my plans.

Getting into the Christmas spirit

2008-12-11T14:23:00.001-08:00

We still don't have a tree and there is nary a light twinkling at our house. With just 2 weeks left until Christmas, I think it's about time to get in the spirit. So tomorrow I plan to hold a cookie baking extravaganza! I've got the ingredients for Lemon Squares, Oatmeal Carmelitas, Chocolate Toffee Crunchies, Snickerdoodles and Oreo Truffles. That should make a nice plate of treats for neighbors, friends and co-workers.

As if that weren't enough, I also made Caramel Layer Choco Squares and Cheesecake Cookie Cups last night for a party at work. With all of this baking, I predict that I will have gained 5 lbs by Monday. See what I do for you? What can I say? I'm a giver.

Now that I've shared my cookie recipes, it's time for you to return the favor What is your favorite cookie recipe? Or for you non-bakers, what is your favorite cookie to indulge in at Christmas?

Wiill you help me with those last 25 lbs???

2008-12-10T13:25:00.000-08:00

Dear Brilliant People of Nintendo*,

I lost a bunch of weight this year with nothing but a dvd player and will power. I hope to lose some more next year but I am worried that it will be harder this time around. The last five pounds have taken as long as the first forty. Which means the next twenty-five pounds will take about 4 years. And that's kind of ridiculous really. I'd like to crank things up and drop those pesky lbs in 4 months. So that is where you come in Nintendo. Lovely, sweet, smart Nintendo.*

I need a Wii Fit.

There I said it. Despite your super-compelling marketing campaign*, I've got to admit that I've been resistant. I mean the productivity in my household is certain to come to a screeching halt if we had such an addictive video game system at our disposal. And by "household," I mean my husband. He's a terrific stay-at-home-dad and I can't have him distracted by home electronics. I finally have him convinced that the computer is dull and complicated but I'm not sure I could do the same with a Wii. I blame you and your ground breaking interactive gaming technology.* So you kind of owe me.

Anyway, I resisted your siren song until you brought Jillian Michaels on board. Jillian, or Jill as I call her, is my weight loss guru and personal trainer. And by "personal trainer," I mean that I have her dvd's. Now that Jillian has created a Wii Fit workout, I MUST HAVE IT.

Which brings me to the point of this letter. I've been seeing a bunch of Wii Fit giveaways lately and well, I want in on the action. I'll gather some bloggy, facebook, myspace, twitter, internet friends and host the bestest giveaway you've ever seen. EVER! And I totally have a big mouth so I'd tell everyone about your generosity and brilliance.* So it's really a win-win. How can you refuse? Win-win situations are just good business. And I know you are really good at business.*

By the way, have I told you how pretty you are?* Cause you are soooooo pretty.

Kthx.
Lori

*I'm not above blatant sucking up.

Christmas letters - Yeah or nay

2008-12-08T15:43:00.000-08:00

I was just reading this post about Christmas letters at Rocks in my Dryer* when it occurred to me that it hadn't occurred to me to even consider writing a Christmas letter. And that's a lot of occurring.

Or not occurring.

Anyhoo, I enjoy receiving Christmas letters. I enjoy writing. I was already addressing all those envelopes. So why not write a little letter and shove it in the prepared envelope?

Well first, as previously established, it didn't occur to me. (Duh) Second, I have these blog-thingies which basically tell you all about our lives over the past year and all totaled could be considered the world's longest cumulative Christmas letter. And third, I couldn't just write a letter. I'd have to write and edit and re-write and choose pictures and then it just becomes work.

So tell me, should I expect a Christmas letter from you this year? Were you terribly disappointed not to see a letter with our card?

*Best blog name ever.

The real world

2008-12-05T14:16:00.000-08:00

A few months ago my boss took a new job in another division. Since I don't currently have any direct reports either and my work is fairly autonomous, I took it upon myself to start working what my company likes to call an "alternative work schedule." The rest of the world calls it four 10's. I call it bliss.

Sure I left a little earlier and came home a little later but it was well worth it for the three day weekends. I started taking the kiddo to Gymboree on Friday. We'd go grocery shopping. I'd watch daytime television during naptime. The hubby was able to go hunting or work in the yard or whatever else he considers fun. So pretty much, it was awesome.

Yesterday, I was asked to start working on a project for a different group. As part of that work, they also want me to attend their weekly staff meetings. Which are on Fridays.

There goes my alternative work schedule.

So here I sit, ~~blogging~~ working away on a Friday. And let me tell you, it is no easy task. Five day work weeks are HARD. Why did I ever switch to four days? Adding back that fifth day is brutal! I have to focus and think and go to meetings. Oh, and put on real clothes. Do you know how hard it is to shower and put on heels? On a FRIDAY? If this is the real world, I want no part of it.

Crap, I have to run to a meeting. Stupid Friday.

Not finished yet

2008-12-01T16:16:00.000-08:00

Last week I had a meeting with a co-worker I haven't seen in a while. She commented about my weight loss and for the first time, I heard myself respond "yes, I dropped quite a few pounds but I still have more to lose."

Huh. That's new.

It wasn't until I heard myself say it out loud that I realized I'm not satisfied with my current weight. Wait, that's not entirely true. It's not the number on the scale I dislike. I couldn't care less about the number. It's the belly bulge that I'm fed up with. (Pun intended.)

Sure I look better than I used to. My arms have thinned out. I have a collar bone again. My cheeks aren't as puffy. But that darn belly still sits there, in all it's jiggly glory, mocking me. It's the first place I gain weight and the last place I lose it. And I don't feel that my weight loss is finished until it's gone. (Okay, maybe not GONE but significantly reduced.) I've come this far, why not finish the race?

Add that revelation to an extended holiday weekend of gluttony and you have a recipe for change. It's one thing to splurge on Thanksgiving. It's another thing to splurge the day before, the day after, the day after that and the day after that. If there is a healthy eating wagon, I need to get back on it.

But December is a lousy time of year to consider trying to eat healthy! So here's my plan. I'd like to find some balance over the next month. Splurge on occasion and maintain my weight as it stands. Then get back to hard-core-weight-loss mode on Jan 1. This is NOT a New Year's Resolution. That seems too temporary and gimicky. My problem has been and will continue to be one of motivation. I need a goal. A deadline. And someone looking over my shoulder. So Jan 1 will be the start. April 19 will be the deadline (my birthday). 25lbs will be the goal. You will be my progress monitors. Mkay?

Hey, do you want to lose 25lbs in 2009? Join me! ~~Misery loves company.~~ It'll be fun! We can swap recipes, compare work out schedules, braid each other's hair, have a pillow fight. Wait, what was I talking about? Right, we can call it the Quarter Club (or something more catchy and less dorky). I won't even make you publish your weight. C'mon, you know you want to...all the cool kids are doing it. (That's peer pressure people, I hear it's all the rage these days.)

Woe is me

2008-11-28T17:04:00.001-08:00

Everyone get your tiny little violins ready for this story. Trust me, you'll see why after you read the next sentence.

Our housekeepers didn't show up today.

Told ya. It's tragic, right?

Anyhoo, the bummer behind that sentence is that we hosted a lovely Thanksgiving feast last night. Which included good friends, obscene amounts of food and apparently every dish, pot and pan in the house. And since the housekeepers were unfortunately due to arrive shortly after dawn today, we had a ton o' cleaning to do to prepare. Yes, I realize cleaning before the cleaners is a long-standing joke. But if they cannot find the counter beneath the pile of dirty dishes, how can I expect them to clean the counter? And should they go to the effort of cleaning underneath the dirty dishes, eventually their filth will come to rest on the clean counter thereby erasing any prior work.

So, we stayed up late loading and unloading the dishwasher. (And by "we", I mean Jeff.) We also woke up early and ran another couple loads. (Same definition.) Despite ~~our~~ his best efforts, one counter and two sinks were filled with dirty pots and pans. Out of time, he headed out the door to go hunting and I grabbed the kiddo and jumped in the other car. (We don't like to be home when the cleaners are working. Besides being in the way, it makes me feel very lazy.) After a quick errand, I decided to swing by the house to see if the cleaners had arrived yet. That would help me gauge when to return. Seeing no car in the driveway, I decided to give them a call. They lost their cell phone with their client numbers and were en route to our house to ask if it was okay for them to come Monday instead. I know, right? That's a lot of effort to re-schedule when our number is listed in the phone book.

The bottom line, we did a lot of rushed cleaning when we could have taken our time. But at least it's done. And I discovered a few more things to be thankful for. 1) That on a whim, I swung by the house to notice the cleaners hadn't arrived. 2) That I called them to confirm before wasting three hours with a 10-month-old in the car. 3) That I have a hubby who does the dishes. 4) That I have housekeepers even if they're not always reliable.

I know, my life is sooooo rough.

On a related note, I discovered the place to shop on Black Friday is Babies R Us. At 8:30 this morning, there were only 3 or 4 shoppers in the whole place. I can't vouch for any great deals as I was there returning something. In fact, I may be the only person in the US that actually netted out with money back on Black Friday. How bout you? Did you brave the Black Friday rush? Find any great deals? Find any empty stores?

Crafty toy company big-shots

2008-11-25T09:48:00.000-08:00

Remember that scene in "Father of the Bride" when George is in the grocery store ranting over the different number of hot dogs in a package compared to hot dog buns in a package? Let me refresh your memory...

STOCKBOY Excuse me, sir, but what are you doing?

GEORGE I'll tell you what I'm doing. I want to buy eight hot dogs and eight hot dog buns to go with them. But no one sells eight hot dog buns. They only sell twelve hot dog buns. So I end up paying for four buns I don't need. So I am removing the superfluous buns.

STOCKBOY I'm sorry, sir. But you're going to have to pay for all twelve buns. They're not marked individually.

GEORGE Yeah. And you want to know why? Because some big-shot over at the wiener company got together with some big-shot over at the bun company and decided to rip off the American public. Because they think the American public is a bunch of trusting nit-wits who will pay for everything they don't need rather than make a stink!

Aaaaaand, end scene. But not before George is arrested for this rant and learns a valuable lesson. Don't mess with the bull or you'll get the horns.

Well I have a rant of my own that hopefully won't land me in jail. I'm beginning to suspect that some big-shot over at the toy company got together with some big-shot over at the battery company and decided to rip off the American public. Why else would a toy say "goodbye" minutes after it's been abandoned for another shiny object?

We already purchased the toy so the big-shots at the toy company have no motivation in ensuring it's actually being played with. Yet moments after some far-too-happy song has FINALLY ended and my child has moved on to quieter entertainment, that darn toy reminds him that it's still there. And the music begins again. Why? WHY?! To run down the batteries, that's why! So we'll have to buy more batteries. So the toy can remind our kids that it's over heeeeerrrreeee. So that they'll run down the batteries. So we'll have to buy more batteries. So the toy...

You get the picture.

And to complicate matters, the big-shots at the toy company don't tell you their toy has this handy little feature until after you've purchased it, assembled the fortygillion pieces, given it to your child and recycled the box. They're crafty, those toy company big-shots. I'll give 'em that.

So what's a mom to do? How do we show them that we are on to them? How do we protest the blatant manipulation of America's youngest consumers?

No seriously, I'm asking what to do...

Bigger isn't always better

2008-11-19T15:03:00.000-08:00

As much as I hate to air our dirty laundry, this story entails dirty laundry so here goes...

To celebrate the completion of our bathroom remodel last year, I foolishly bought these amazing over sized spa towels from Costco. Though it seemed innocent enough, this one little decision started a domino effect that will haunt me for years to come. But back to the beginning, my shame must wait.

Apparently bigger isn't always better.

A certain someone who does most of the laundry in our house, says my spa towels are too big. You can only wash 3 or 4 of them at a time. They take up ridiculous amount of space on the towel rack. They're cumbersome to fold. Blah, blah, blah. They're just...excessive.

Isn't that like saying a puppy is too soft or a cake is too rich? Impossible I say!

And so the Great Towel Strike of 20-aught-8 began. ~~The help~~ My hubby has refused to wash nor use these massive towels opting instead to dry off with hand towels to prove his point. The strike left me with two choices. 1) Start doing the laundry. or 2) Buy new reasonably sized towels. I did what any ~~lazy~~ sane person would have done. I opted for #2.

At first I saw this as a tremendous opportunity to buy some organic cotton or bamboo towels as a sort of eco-trade-off for decommissioning perfectly good towels. Then I saw the price. $32 for ONE towel? Fortunately or unfortunately, I'm cheaper than I am green. Time for a new plan.

After a few weeks of procrastination and consequently a few weeks of doing the laundry, the answer to my problem arrived in my mailbox. No, the good people at Gaiam did not read my mind and send me a set of organic cotton towels at $32 a piece. Darn it all. Instead, I got a little postcard informing me that Linens N Things was going out of business. As the sun shone down and the angels sang, a new plan was formed. A cheaper plan where I stick it to The Man while making my man happy with properly proportioned towels.

After speeding to my local LNT, I loaded Ian in the Ergo in order to have plenty of room in the cart for lots and lots of fluffy yet demure towels. But oh, there are sheets over there. We need new sheets for the guest room. And hey, new shower curtains. We could use a new shower curtain. And oh my goodness, we have been wanting those rain shower heads. The cart was getting full and I hadn't even reached the towel department yet. But who cares, it's a Going Out of Business Sale! Look at all the red signs. They must be giving this stuff away.

Finally I mounded up a new set of bath towels and made my way to the counter. The sales associate repeated her script in monotone as Ian began to fuss in the Ergo. All sales final? Sure, whatever, JUST RING ME UP so I can get out of here. And with a swipe of my card, we were headed out the door. As I loaded bag after bag of new goodies into my car, I imagined the joy on my hubby's face as I proudly displayed my petite purchases and announced their even more petite price. I drove home smiling like the Cheshire Cat.

Until suddenly, the smile fell. Stopped at a red light, I grabbed the receipt hoping to find something other than what I knew was there. But alas, the cold hard facts stared me in the face.

Linens N Things great Going Out of Business discount was 20%. The same discount they send me every week in coupon form. So basically...I paid regular price. Dang it, DANG it, DANG IT!

Sure I now have acceptable towels. And yes, the Great Towel Strike has ended. But where is my deal? What about sticking it to The Man? After all my years in retail, I should have known better than to get caught up in the hype. And I think that's what kills me the most. But as is printed on my receipt, all sales are final. So for the next however many years, I'll be reminded of the shame of paying full price at a Going Out of Business sale as I bitterly dry off with my tiny towels.

Mrs. Dad

2008-11-18T12:55:00.000-08:00

I've been playing Mrs. Dad* since last Friday when the hubs left for an extended weekend o' hunting**. As a parent who works outside the home, I think it's always good to do the stay-at-home gig periodically. It's like an accelerated parenting class where there are many valuable lessons to be learned. Here are my top 3:

Manage your time - You can get a lot done when your child takes two naps a day! Speaking of which, did you know Bonnie Hunt has a talk show? On the flip side, you cannot get anything done while the child is awake. Including, but not limited to, showering, preparing meals, answering the phone, answering the door, running errands, cleaning and going to the bathroom. I recommend planning accordingly and avoiding all beverages.
Videotape everything - As soon as you implement a man-to-man instead of a zone defense, your child will get sick. The child will instantly feel better when the zone defense is reinstated. This means your spouse will not believe you when you tell him how crabby the child has been.
Count your blessings - Eating a hot lunch at your desk while answering the phone and typing an e-mail is not so bad. It's better than grabbing a handful of Cheerios between diaper changes and bottle feedings. Similarly, reading the same book for the elentyhundredth time is not so bad. Especially when you've got a sleepy little baby snuggled in your arms.

And now, I'm back at work with these new lessons tucked away in the ole memory bank until I get to play Mrs. Dad again. Of course the lessons are never ending so I'm sure my next accelerated parenting class will come with a whole new set of learnings. But I'm looking forward to all the classes on the road to my parenting PhD. And then, you may call me Dr. Mom.

*They've made movies and recorded songs about Mr. Mom. Where's the equal love for Mrs. Dad? Fair is fair. I'm calling Gloria Steinem.
**Vegetarian married to a hunter = proof that opposites really do attract. Also, no animals were harmed in the writing of this post which means the Hubby is very grumpy but I am oh so happy.

Stupid Murphy and his stupid laws

2008-11-16T11:19:00.000-08:00

That darn Murphy, he's done it again. Why is it that Ian falls a million times a day but ONLY damages his face on picture day?

He was sitting right in front of me, playing on his knees when he leaned forward and sort of dribbled down the Leap Start table in slow motion. When I picked him up, I saw a drip of blood tinged drool and the start of a fat lip. How on earth could that much damage occur when he was less than a foot off the floor? Sitting mere inches in front of me? Surrounded by fluffy pillows atop a cushy rug? LESS THAN TWO HOURS BEFORE OUR PHOTO SESSION? It can only be Murphy and his stupid laws.

Then the photographer reminded me that we have this fancy new invention called Photoshop. So there will be no official record of my parental negligence combined with Ian's baby clumsiness.

Uh, except this post. Darn it.

One big happy family

2008-11-11T13:54:00.000-08:00

I totally admire the Duggars. Is that odd?

First things first, if you don't know the Duggars by name, you've probably heard of them. They have 17 children and the 18th is due in January. They've had a few television specials and now have a reality show on TLC called "17 Kids and Counting!"

So why do I admire this super-sized family? Because they seem to handle it all so darn well. They manage a family of 19 better than I can juggle life with just the 3 of us. I'm sure they have their moments but a cousin even mentioned that she has never seen Michelle (the mom) raise her voice. And this week's episode shows Jim Bob (the dad) teaching one of his 7 daughters how to drive a stick. WITHOUT SWEARING! There was even giggling involved. C'mon, that's just not normal.

I guess there are some people who have the temperament and personality to parent a large family. I am not one of those people. So I watch those who can do it successfully with a kind of fascination usually reserved for zoo animals and train wrecks.

While I enjoy watching "Jon & Kate Plus 8" on occasion, it's for much different reasons. Jon & Kate are normal. They get mad. They act stupid. They breakdown. And God bless em for it...and for letting me watch! Because through all the crazy nutiness, they obviously love their kids and are doing the best they can.

The Duggars are just in a whole other league. Life appears easygoing and joy-filled in the Duggar home. And as if that wasn't amazing enough with 19 people under one roof, prepare to have your mind blown...

They don't believe in debt.
They built their 7000 sq ft home as a family.
They don't watch tv and limit internet use.
They homeschool all the kids.

Sure their carbon footprint is probably a burden on the planet. And I probably wouldn't have my four year old operating a floor sander. And there is no question that Michelle needs a new hairstyle. But through it all, they seem to be successfully raising a family that is in this world but not of this world. And that's worth admiring.

Stupid Pound

2008-11-05T16:59:00.001-08:00

My weight can fluctuate 1-2 lbs in any given day due to factors completely outside of my control. And some within my control. Ahem.

But when I get my heiney out of bed in the pitch blackness, trade my comfy jammies for sneakers and creep past my sleeping family for an extra hard workout, I DEMAND to lose a pound. Just one, that's all I ask.

Okay, I'd settle for holding flat.

Wait, no I wouldn't! Assuming my diet remains the same, I expect to lose a pound.

So when I stepped on the scale this morning with sweat running down my face and discovered that I gained a pound, I was pissed.

I'm still pissed.

And I miss the days when we didn't have a scale. Of course those were also the days when my weight began with a 2 so I don't miss them too much.

Whatever. Stupid pound.

Holy Moley

2008-11-04T10:13:00.000-08:00

Have you voted? I sure hope so because this post has nothing to do with politics. Frankly, I for one need a distraction from this frenzied anticipation. And nothing shouts "distraction" like a good skin abnormality story. Right?

Once upon a time, I shared my oh-so-lovely varicose vein with you. (Stupid exercise.) And now I bring you another installment of "what the heck is that?" Yes kids, it's time to share another of my...uh...unique features.

Okay, here goes. I'm moley.

There I said it. Although if you've seen me in person, this is not exactly breaking news. Whatever.

For the rest of you, I'm not moley in a cute Cindy Crawford kind of way. No, mine are more like the creepy talking variety...

Somehow I managed to escape my childhood without getting teased about the handful of moles on my face. I guess when you're tall, gangly and acne-ridden, there is plenty of other material to grab hold of. Or maybe they didn't appear until I was older. Or maybe they're not that noticeable. Nah, that can't be it.

Regardless, no one has ever really commented on them and since I see them everyday, I generally ignore them as well. That's not to say that they don't bug me. Just not on a daily basis.

That is until Lillian came along. Actually I think my nephews noticed them first. Those innocent little cherubs would look at me intently, extend a chubby little finger and try to twist the moles right off my face. Lillian did the same thing. Obviously these wise children realized those bumps didn't belong there.

After the initial hey-that-doesn't-belong-there response comes the next phase: acceptance. Like most children, around 18 months, Lillian began pointing and listing my features.

"Ears." point.
"Nose." point.
"Eyes." poke (defensive maneuvers are recommended)
"Mouth." point.
"Mole." point.

Wait, what?

Yep, the moles became just another bump on my face for her to point out. And suddenly, I noticed them. And I wanted them gone.

Well, life managed to take priority over vanity and I haven't done anything about it. But suddenly I find myself bracing every time Ian looks at me intently. Someday soon he's gonna reach out a chubby little finger and try to twist one of those little buggers off my face. I wonder if that will be enough to send me to the dermatologist for a little slice and sew appointment. Or maybe I'll manage to move to the next phase: acceptance.

Oops, sorry kid

2008-11-01T17:54:00.000-07:00

You know that scene in "Legally Blonde" where Elle Woods shows up to a party in the bunny costume and nobody else is dressed up?

Um, yeah. Well, Ian kinda had that moment today at his Gymboree play class.

No, not in a bunny costume. What kind of a mom do you think I am?

In my defense, the teacher told us last Friday that this weekend the kids should wear their costumes to class. She even asked us what type of candy we wanted. And in prior years when we went with Lillian, other kids wore their costumes to class around Halloween. So it didn't seem unusual that Ian would wear his costume the day after Halloween.

When Ian woke up late from his nap, I grabbed him out of the crib, threw him in the car still in his pajamas and raced to Gymboree. When we arrived, I glanced in the window and thought I saw another kid in a costume. So I quickly changed him into his lion outfit in the lobby. The receptionist commented on how cute he looked and I dashed inside and sat him on the floor while I hung up my purse. Then I turned around and realized that NONE of the other kids were wearing costumes. Gulp.

Fortunately I brought a change of clothes and in a flash he was one of the gang again. But not after everyone had a good long look at his expense. Sorry kid, I have a feeling this is just the first of many embarrassing moments your mommy will cause in your lifetime.

Google me

2008-10-31T09:11:00.000-07:00

Have you ever googled yourself? C'mon, admit it. If you haven't yet, now is your chance.

A co-worker recently purchased the url of his full name for a new website because the url with his first & last name is already taken. I too have a fairly common name so I would have the same trouble. In fact, a google search of my name revealed that I could be a singer, a set costumer, shoe boutique owner, one of two television actresses, a romantic suspense writer, a high school English teacher, a police chief, a litigation & employment attorney, a real estate agent and so on. Pretty much anyone except me. I finally found myself on page 19 thanks to a donation we made to the Children's Cancer Association.

With such a common name, I guess I'm doomed to a life of relative obscurity. But there's nothing wrong with that I suppose. So tell me, what does your google search reveal? Which page did you find yourself on?

I get it

2008-10-30T16:34:00.000-07:00

I'm learning some valuable lessons in empathy.

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Thanks to this cold, I can't hear out of my left ear. I have uttered "what?" more times than I can count. And if I've asked people to repeat themselves enough times that I'm even annoying myself, I'll just pretend that I've heard them. A little laugh and a "uh-huh" work most of the time. Sometimes, I wonder what I'm missing. Hi hearing-impaired friends, I feel your pain!

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I bought a pair of pants over the internet. Which is pretty much the only place you can buy tall pants. As with most internet purchases, sometimes they fit and sometimes they don't. The problem is that I'm a lousy returner. If it is borderline, I keep it. These particular pants were just a skoosh too small. But with my handy-dandy Spanx, I figured I could make them work. When I paired them with a crop jacket, I knew I'd need the industrial strength High Falutin' Spanx to avoid the muffin top. The second I wriggled into this glorified sausage casing, I thought "I hope I don't have to go to the bathroom very often." What I neglected to factor in was the constant compression on the gut/bladder actually causes you to go to the bathroom 5x more often than usual. Hi pregger friends, I feel your pain!

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Now I don't pretend that these minor experiences in any way compare with living with a hearing impairment or being pregnant. But I think I got a tiny glimpse into those worlds. So ask me to repeat myself a million times, I don't mind. And if you need a friend to accompany you to the bathroom, I'm your girl. I wonder what other lessons are in store for me. Don't these things come in threes?

Did you say something?

2008-10-27T11:25:00.000-07:00

The cashier in our cafeteria at work has this "unique" approach to customer service. Rather than try to explain it, I'll just give you the transcript from a standard interaction:

"Hi, what is that?" he asks pointing at the to-go carton I've placed on the scale.
"A salad," I respond.
"How are you?" he asks as he punches the keys on the register.
"Good, how are you?" I reply.
"Good, you?" he says and punches more keys.
"Uh, good," I say in an attempt to end the back and forth.
"$4.17. Do you want a receipt?" he asks holding out his hand.
"No thanks," I respond handing him the cash.
"How are you?" he asks as he counts out my change.
"Uh, good," I say grabbing my salad and briskly fleeing the line as I hear him ask the next customer how they're doing.

And end scene. Cue laugh track and applause.

Some of my co-workers have argued that he is merely giving good customer service but I disagree. He is offering a memorized platitude and not listening to the response. How is that customer service?

In his defense, I believe he is trying. Like many men, he's probably not that good at multi-tasking. (Sorry guys.) He's so focused on expediting the line and making correct change that the inter-personal exchange takes a back seat. And frankly, I appreciate his priorities. I also appreciate that he is making an effort. But that doesn't stop me from avoiding his line.

What do you think? Is this good customer service? Or a sad attempt at pleasantries? Would you avoid his line to dodge this awkward exchange?

Just what the doctor ordered

2008-10-23T16:47:00.000-07:00

This has been the week from h-e-double-hockey-sticks. I mean I've had worse, but this one was a doozy. It was a little bit weird, a little bit sad, a little bit humbling, a little bit frustrating and now, like the cherry on top of this crap sundae, a little bit sick.

What did I do to deserve such a week?!

And more importantly, how could I be getting sick AGAIN? I've been sick more in the last three months than in the last three years. And for no good reason. I've been eating well (if you ignore that bag of Cinnamon Bears I devoured yesterday). I've been working out (this week anyway). I wash my hands like thirty hundred times (and purify them another forty hundred times). So how am I getting sick again? Seriously, can anyone explain this to me?

I think it's my hand weights. After a cold, I typically clean everything...except those weights. Perhaps I keep reinfecting myself every time I work out. How's that for irony? I finally get around to exercising and it ends up making me sick so I can't exercise. Okay, I can but I won't.

If in doubt, blame exercise. That's my motto.

I'm downing Cold-Eeze every hour per the package instructions in a preemptive strike. Here's hoping this sore throat fizzles quickly and the dragon doesn't take up residency.

Now that I'm done whining (for the moment anyway), here's a happy thought, er...picture.

Photos by Flour & Sun Bakery

Tomorrow I'm making these Chocolate Peppermint Patty Cupcakes to bring to a dinner party on Saturday.

Dark chocolate cupcake with peppermint buttercream and...there's a Peppermint Patty INSIDE! Are you drooling like I am?

The last time we had dinner with this group of friends, I threw together brownies from a box and fancied them up using my sister's trick of melting Jr. Mints on top. But something went horribly wrong and they never turned cakey. They were more like a pool of chocolate goo on top of an impossibly hard, sticky crust. (Not that it stopped me from scarfing down the edible parts. Aren't you proud Mom & Dad?) Regardless, I'm determined to redeem my culinary reputation with these cupcakes. They're the furthest thing from vegan, sugar-free or healthy. And they're the perfect cure to a rough week.

Note: 1) Sickness has settled in. Ugh. 2) The cupcakes got rave reviews. I used the America's Test Kitchen dark chocolate cupcake and easy peppermint buttercream recipes. Just fill papers 1/4 full, place a peppermint patty on top and cover with more batter. But don't fill the papers more than 1/2 full though - I learned this one the hard way. Also, the centers of the cupcakes didn't rise leaving a crater for more frosting. I'm not complaining as I think of cake as merely a conduit for frosting anyway.

Surrrioussssly

2008-10-20T10:58:00.000-07:00

The RiverGala was a rousing success. In just one evening, we raised a little over $20,000 for the Children's Cancer Association. I know, right? $20k! I learned two very important things about planning a successful auction event. 1) Wine is great for getting those bids up. 2) Wine is not so great for checking people out at the end of the event. Try asking a drunk person for their billing address. That could be a sobriety test. (Don't worry, we were calling cabs for people.) Oh, and my cute new dress was also a big hit. Which is totally important. One drunk person declared it "the bessstt dressssss heeeere. Surrrioussssly." A couple of sober people said they liked it too.

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NW Mom Finds is off to a roaring start. I'm finding all kinds of new treasures to pass along. And oh my the giveaways that are coming! You gotta subscribe. Surrrioussssly.

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Will wonders never cease? I actually managed to get my booty out of bed for a work out this morning. Woo hoo! And I actually managed to stay away from the handmade truffles at the Gala. I'm talking dark chocolate, handmade truffles people! How's that for willpower? Admittedly Mindy's carrot cupcakes were too good to pass up last night however. But as I told Jeff, carrot "cake" is really a misnomer. They're more vegetable than cake, right? Whatever, it's all about balance. Surrrioussssly.

NW Mom Finds

2008-10-17T21:00:00.000-07:00

Remember how I told you I was going to start posting about my fav things?

And then I kinda forgot.

But then I started a whole separate blog about it?

Um, yeah...I'm changing my mind again.

But it's good! It's better than good. It's super fantabulous awesome.

Or something like that.

I've joined forces with Heather from Production not Reproduction to start the uber review blog (her words - check out the comment that started it all). So without further ado, I would like to present to you [insert drumroll please]

Da-da-da-daaaaaa! Our focus will be eco-friendly/green products, unique toys and clothing, and businesses based in the Pacific Northwest. Be sure to subscribe - we have some exciting giveaways and discounts coming soon! In fact, we have a Kipiis giveaway going on right now so what are you waiting for? Click over there already. Oh, one more thing, e-mail us if you have a product, resource or service that you think we should check out.

Another Angel Birthday

2008-10-15T17:10:00.001-07:00

Happy birthday Lily-bean! You would have been four years old today. That seems impossible. You will forever be my little two year old. Frozen in pictures and memories. I sure wish we had taken more pictures. More videos.

Oh, who am I kidding? If we're wishing here, I wish for more time with you. Then I wouldn't need the pictures and videos to remember you. I'd have your squishy cheeks right here to smooch until they turn pink. Ian's cheeks do the same thing you know. We slather him with lotion after bath time, just as we did with you. It seems to help with the "kiss rash." Sure, we could ease up on the kisses but that wouldn't be any fun!

I'm blowing kisses up to heaven for you right now. Are your cheeks turning pink yet? Are the angels singing "Happy Birthday" to you? I'm sure there is cake. And if there isn't, don't tell me. I need to believe that there is cake in heaven.

I never found out what your favorite flavor was. Or your favorite color. I know that you loved to read books. And go for rides in the stroller. Oh, and that pacifier! You sure loved your pacifier. I was not looking forward to helping you give up that thing. But I'm so glad you had something that brought you comfort throughout all the pokeys and other yucky stuff.

Ian's getting some pokeys today. Nothing serious. He's 9 months old today so it's time for some pokeys. I know you'll be there watching over him as you always do. I wish he could have known you in person. I tell him all about you though.

I tell everyone about you. I'm putting on a fancy dress on Saturday for a party to raise money for other kids with cancer. I'll be thinking about you the whole time. And in a couple weeks, I get to share your story with another group of people. I get to tell them how brave you were. How special you were. How much I miss you.

Lillian, I'm starting to forget some of the details. The sound of your odd little laugh. The feel of your sweet hand in mine. I know you don't mind. You're happy and healthy and worry-free. But I mind. I don't want to forget a thing!

I know I'll see you again in heaven. I'll hear your odd little laugh. I'll feel your sweet hand in mine. And the details will come back to me. Until then, I will never forget how much I love you sweet pea. And that's what really matters. Happy birthday angel.

Women of Faith

2008-10-13T10:32:00.001-07:00

Isn't it sad when work is a welcome break from the rush of life? Last weekend was a blur of busyness. In a good way. I spent Friday and Saturday at the Women of Faith conference. Great speakers, AMAZING music and 11,000 women in one arena. Here are my random observations:

When 11,000 women take over an arena, all the bathrooms are converted to ladies rooms. The stereotypes about men's bathrooms are true. Right down to the graffiti on the stall which read "let it flow." Men are so profound.
Watching Nicole C. Mullen sing one of my favorite songs "My Redeemer Lives" is magical. Watching her sign the song as she sings sucks the air right out of my lungs.
I am likely the most annoying conference attender in the world. I comment on how cute the worship team's outfits are. I mutter questions during the speeches. I try to make a vegetarian meal out of arena concessions. I shiver and shift in my seat.
Contrary to my prior statement, the lady sitting behind us was the most annoying conference attender in the world. Her Laugh. Her too-loud, too-giddy laugh. Like she had just sucked on a helium balloon before each punchline. It was so obnoxious that we had to laugh right along with her.
One of the points that continues to bounce off the walls of my mind is that God does not want to waste one bit of our pain. We know life will be filled with trials. Christians are not exempt from pain. But God uses all things for good. We need to let him use every ounce of our pain so it has a purpose.
Mandisa's smile is contagious. I have loved her music but as I don't watch American Idol, I've never seen her face. Her smile is as big as her voice. Beautiful.
The conference would be half as long if they cut out the constant sales pitch for their books. But if I wrote a book, I'd be up there selling it just as hard.
It must be hard to give the same speech or sing the same song or tell the same joke over and over in city after city without losing the impact. These speakers and singers are so gifted and genuine.
Forget the t-shirts and hoodies, if they sold the outfits that the worship team were wearing, they'd make a fortune! Seriously.
God speaks to me the loudest through music. I am thankful for radio stations like Air1 and artists like Mandisa and Nicole C. Mullen for allowing God to speak to me through them.

A busy but memorable weekend to be sure. A shout out and thank you to Becci for inviting me!

Totally worth the pain

2008-10-09T16:06:00.000-07:00

The woof of my mouth ith totally buwnt and I don't efen cawe. Okay, so it's not burnt so badly to cause a speech impediment but if it had, I'd totally endure it. Cause this bean crack is that good.

Now don't freak out after you read the recipe.
"Lori, I thought you were a vegetarian?!"
"What the heck, I thought you weren't eating dairy?"
"Dude, chips? I though you were off chips. Chips are dangerous."

Lemme explain. I veganized (is that a word?) the recipe. And I am eating it with baked Tostitos Scoops. Half the fat and still delish. Pinky swear.

Sure, you could make the original recipe. And I'm sure it would be good. Okay, it would probably be freaking awesome. But you should try my version and tell me it's not completely fantabulous. I dare you. Heck, even Jeff the Carnivore gobbled it up.

Veganized Bean ~~Crack~~ Dip

1 pkg Gimme Lean beef style*
1 pkg Smart Ground crumbles*
2 pkgs taco seasoning mix**
2 containers Tofutti cream cheese (one of my BRAND NEW, UNOPENED containers was moldy, darn it, so I only used 1 container)
3 cans vegetarian refried beans (why would you want lard with your beans?)
2 small jars salsa (1 medium and 1 mild just to mix things up)

Brown the ground "meat" in a big saute pan. (You'll have to really work on the Gimme Lean to break it apart.) Add the taco seasoning mix and cook according the instructions.

Smear cream cheese in the bottom of a pyrex baking dish. Spread refried beans on top of cream cheese layer. Spoon the "meat" on top. Pour the salsa over "meat" and mix the two layers together.

Bake at 350 for 30min.

That's it! Just 6 ingredients, some smearing and voila, tasty, tasty dip.

This is a must have for Super Bowl Sunday. Or any day that ends in day. Oh, and I'd show you a picture but...well, I ate it. Not the picture. The dip. Hey, if I didn't wait until it cooled to eat it, what makes you think I waited to take a picture?

*I like the combo of Gimme Lean and Smart Ground because the Smart Ground can be dry. But you could use 2 of either rather than 1 each.
**I used some leftover homemade taco seasoning.

Uncork Joy: RiverGala

2008-10-08T07:58:00.000-07:00

I have the pleasure of assisting with an amazing event "Uncork Joy" 08 RiverGala for the Children's Cancer Association. I've been so focused on securing auction items that I forgot to invite you! So here are all the juicy details...

Why am I involved in this? Children's Cancer Association is near and dear to my heart for obvious reasons. (See Lillian's Legacy for more details.) During Lillian's numerous hospital stays, the Music Rx program provided by the Children’s Cancer Association brought her great joy. As the volunteer sang and played guitar, Lillian would rattle an egg shaker and for a moment the beeps of the machines that surrounded her would be drowned out by their song. This is just one small example of the support that CCA provides for children as they fight for their lives. Though my primary fundraising efforts go to the American Cancer Society, I am always pleased to have an opportunity to help CCA and try to payback their generosity a little.

What is it? Hosted by Thirst Wine Bar, this fantastic event includes a mouth watering menu created by Executive Chef Jon Sodini, wine, wine and more wine, live music, a fine art auction and a fabulous (if I do say so myself) silent auction.

When is it? Saturday, October 18th, 7pm. Black Tie Optional (totally swanky cause that's how I roll people). At Thirst Wine Bar at the Riverplace Esplanade on the Willamette River in downtown Portland.

I know what you're thinking..."how do I get a ticket to this exclusive event?" Well I'm glad you asked. You can purchase tickets here for $100 each. Hey, I know the economy sucks and money is tight. So if you can't swing it, I completely understand. But if you can, dig deep and join me for what will be a terrific event. Aside from supporting a great cause, I'm sure you will get your money's worth in tasty grub and fine wine.

Huge Problem

2008-10-07T16:42:00.000-07:00

I have a huge problem. HUGE! I'm newly addicted to NCIS (thanks Garren) but I'm equally in love with House and Biggest Loser. And there all on at the same time. See it's a Huge Problem!

Honestly, I never thought I'd run into a situation that my DVR couldn't solve. There are many days when it idly sits there pleading to record something and yet there's just nothing of interest on those hundreds of channels. Other days it pretends to work by recording "new" episodes of Project Runway which are actually re-runs. (Stupid Bravo, why can't you learn the definition of new?!) But Tuesday nights...Tuesday nights are special. This is the night my DVR gets called up from the bull pen in the bottom of the ninth with bases loaded and a tied ball game. (Or some other appropriate sports analogy.) This is the night it gets to fulfill it's purpose by ridding my life of those pesky commercial breaks. And in the case of Biggest Loser, it also rids me of much of the filler. All I really want to know is: 1) what is the challenge, 2) who won the challenge, 3) what is the prize for the challenge, 4) how much weight each person lost and 5) who got voted off the show. That's it. The rest is a blur of fast-forwarding.

Wait, where was I?

Oh, right, how to solve my Huge Problem.

Okay so here's my plan. In order for this to work, I've got to pick one of the three shows to watch live. That's right, filled-with-commercials-kind-of-live. It can't be Biggest Loser for reasons previously established. I think I'll go with NCIS. (That's the show not currently scheduled to record so it's just easier that way.)

The next challenge is moving to a different room to watch NCIS. Though the DVR can record two shows at once, it's not very fond of letting you watch a third. So I'll have to wade through the toys and watch the non-HD version of NCIS on the tv in the playroom. I know, woe is me.

Now I just need to figure out how to feed Ian and put him to bed smack dab in the middle of this brilliant plan.

Maybe I'm not meant to watch three shows in one night.

Or maybe I need another DVR!

No, this post is evidence that I do NOT need another DVR. I need a 12 step program for tv addiction...

Update: Ian was remarkably compliant and went to bed a bit early thanks to short naps during the day. After suffering through the commercials with NCIS, we went to watch the recorded House. IT WAS A RE-RUN! All that for nothing. Oh well, this will happen every Tuesday so it was good to have a trial run.

Facebook In Reality

2008-10-07T15:03:00.001-07:00

Do you want to be my friend? Confirm or Ignore.

Contradictions

2008-10-02T17:25:00.001-07:00

I am gracing you with bullet points about recent observations. You're welcome.

While I appreciate that my company has an aggressive recycling and composting program, I'm not sure it's wise to put the compost bin in the copier room. It gets pretty warm in there. You get the ~~smell~~ picture.
Excuses for avoiding workouts seem really valid at 5:30 in the morning. Even the weak ones suddenly make total sense.
When Xanadu gets to the top of my Netflix queue, I start frantically looking for new releases. Why is it in my queue at all if I'm never actually going to allow it to ship?
I'm all in a tizzy about finding the perfect, unique Halloween costume for Ian despite the fact that he has no where to wear it.
I never want a camera phone until I see a diet program banner on a van in the Taco Bell drive through.

Weekend Getaway

2008-09-29T15:28:00.001-07:00

Thanks for the many sabbatical ideas and offers. After spending the weekend at my Aunt & Uncle's cabin in Eastern Oregon, I'm convinced that everyone should own a vacation home. Or rather, everyone else should own a vacation home that I can visit. There is just something about getting away for the weekend that refreshes your soul.

Admittedly, I didn't expect such a relaxing getaway. After our last road trip, I was dreading a repeat. I thought for sure that Ian would scream the entire time and then not sleep in the pack and play resulting in an all around catastrophe (or sleeptastrophe as the case may be). Then he got another cold the weekend before our trip which merely cemented my feeling of impending doom.

But I tell ya, that kid was a model traveller!

He slept most of the way to the cabin. He played and ate enthusiastically. He slept soundly for (most) naps and through the night in his pack and play. He got a little fussy on the way home and I'm not ashamed to say I broke out the portable DVD player to give him a half hour Baby Einstein break. Then we stopped at a park and gave him some grub, a fresh diaper and some wiggle time. This well timed break tuckered him out and he spent the balance of the trip snoozing away. MODEL TRAVELLER!

Now if only gas prices were as cooperative...

Welcome...

2008-09-25T16:20:00.001-07:00

...to my new blog. Isn't it purty? I wanted to give my precious a face lift but I also felt the need to smarten up. This is the WORLD wide web my internet friendz. That means anyone can read my humble little blog. And as more and more new friendz arrive (hi!), I want to make sure I'm not linking to anyone who doesn't want complete strangers reading their shtuff. Not that I don't trust YOU. You are totally awesome. And pretty! It's them I don't trust. Shhhh. As for me, I like strangers reading my shtuff. (hi again!) I think. For now anyway.

So the ball's in your court. Do you want me to link your blog? Then leave a comment with your url. Oh, and you can leave a comment telling me how purty my new format is too. If you want. No pressure or anything.

K.cu.bi.

Say it with me now...sab-ba-ti-cal

2008-09-23T15:10:00.000-07:00

I have a question for you my internet friendz. Something wonderful and magical is going to happen in my humdrum little life next year. Due to my ten years of dutiful service, my company is giving me this mysterious thing known as a SABBATICAL! Ooooooo. Ahhhhhh.

Apparently this great company o mine will grant me 5 consecutive weeks away from work to do whatever I want. Paid! (Well, I do have to pony up half of the time out of my PTO bank but who cares? It's 5 whole weeks of work-free bliss!) All this just for showing up for the last 10 years. Or at least most of it. I have taken 2 maternity leaves and a medical leave to care for Lillian. But graciously, they don't seem to mind those hiatuses. Hiati? Hiatians? Whatever.

Which brings me back to my question.

If you had 5 weeks to do whatever* you want,

whenever you want, what would you do?

*There are a few parameters to keep in mind in this scenario. 1) Assuming the inventors have not cut you in on their new found windfall, you are not independently wealthy. 2) You have a husband and an 18-month-ish old baby who will probably want to tag along on your sabbatical adventures. 3) You have an entire year to plan for this which probably means you'll change your mind several times before ultimately sitting around the house watching daytime television for 5 weeks.

Things that make me go hmmmmmm

2008-09-19T16:26:00.000-07:00

Inventors of the world, prepare to get rich. I'm offering you free ideas here. FREE! All you have to do is make them. I ask nothing in return. Unless you want to toss a couple bucks my way. If you got rich from one of my ideas, giving me a cut would be the right thing to do. I'm just saying that you should let your conscience be your guide. Anyhoo, here are my fantastic ideas:

I would like a push button device to unlock my house. It exists for my car door, just copy that. How hard can it be? Honestly, this one is a gimme.
For extra credit, I would really like to be able to touch the front door knob and have it unlock. Again, it exists for my car.
OH, even better! (I'm on a roll now!) A push button opener for my front door. So when I'm carrying a baby in one hand and groceries in the other, I can just walk in the front door. It exists for mini van doors and trunks. Copy it. This can't be rocket science.
This one is for the car people. I appreciate your innovation in door unlocking technology. I really do. And I am particularly fond of that cool back up camera thingy. So why not have a camera in the front too? So when I'm pulling into a tight parking spot, I can see how close my front bumper is to that car in the neighboring spot. Just a thought.

I think that's it for now inventors. Unless my internet friendz have some more ideas. Anyone? Bueller?

Superstar

2008-09-18T15:50:00.000-07:00

I nicknamed Kennedy "Superstar" because of all of the stars she has met and because...well, she just shines. Honestly. Those of you who know Superstar can back me up on that. Those of you who don't know Superstar (yet) can watch her light up the small screen in this segment from AM Northwest. I'm so proud of you Kennedy!

Missed Connection

2008-09-16T09:32:00.000-07:00

I got the finger last night on the commute home. I love that. There's nothing like a stranger telling you that you're numero uno. Apparently the fact that she didn't stop at her red light and turned in front of me causing me to slam on the breaks as I dared to proceed through my green light earned me the aforementioned bird. I responded by throwing both hands in the air as if to say, "Nice move. I would have stopped at that red light but hey, that's just me! Not you though. You are a rebel. You live on the edge. And who am I to question your choices? Nobody, that's who! Go right on ahead friend." She must have misunderstood me because she quickly followed up with that lovely suddenly-mash-your-breaks-so-they-think-they're-going-to-rear-end-you-thing that I enjoy so much. I thought "Oh, you rascal. You almost got me that time. Hahaha!" Unfortunately I turned at the next light (after it turned green of course) and she went straight so that is where our friendship ended. *sigh*

I'm thinking about posting a missed connection on craigslist. Wanna help me write it?

Who are they trying to kid?

2008-09-13T14:46:00.001-07:00

What happened to truth in advertising?

BTS Traffic

2008-09-10T15:44:00.001-07:00

Ahhhhhhhhh! I hate this time of year. When my 8-mile commute suddenly jumps from 15 minutes to a full and torturous 45 minutes. All because ~~kids~~ the future leaders of these United States need an edumkation? Can't they get that book learnin' during off peak hours? Think about it. They could sleep in. (win) And I could drive to work in a reasonable period of time. (win)

The real question is...how, after that glorious 3 month hiatus called summer, do I manage to forget that this is the norm 9 months out of the year?

Stupid traffic.