tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6750188288819360388.post5790378190712909003..comments2023-06-29T03:23:41.202-07:00Comments on The Next Chapter: The BowLorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15410002407855752531noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6750188288819360388.post-46606413203048800232007-04-25T14:00:00.000-07:002007-04-25T14:00:00.000-07:00Hi Lori,Thank you so much for continuing the blog....Hi Lori,<BR/><BR/>Thank you so much for continuing the blog. The loss of Lillian was so real for me each day when I would do my 'internet routine' and check the Lillian pages. "The Next Chapter" seems to both permit and buffer the grief.<BR/><BR/>As a psychologist I listen to people dredge through their pain and internal torture 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. With each therapy session I become better acquainted with the intensity of grief, sadness, anger, etc...all the 'bad' emotions, the 'vulnerable' emotions that leave us feeling lost and alone. I see how much we want to avoid heartache but I know that, to do so, will result in prolonged agony. So we choreograph a dance between experiencing the depths of our hurt and attempting to continue on with life. <BR/><BR/>I wish I could tell you why ‘these things happen.’ I wish I knew ‘God’s plan.’ I wish I knew the purpose of all the pain in the world. I do not, however, wish there was a pretty, shiny bow I could put around this experience to make it palatable to the world. There is nothing palatable about the death of a child. This is the pain you have to dance in and out of each successive day following the loss of Lillian. <BR/><BR/>What I do believe is this: Life is about relationships. It’s about your relationship with Lillian, with Jeff, with your family, with your friends, with God. This pain, while I imagine it feels like the loneliest place in the world, is connecting you to others. Your blog, your expression of the grief, loss, longing, sadness, is connecting you to all of us. <BR/><BR/>Yesterday a client said to me, “just when I think my pain is so much worse than anything anyone else has ever experienced or anyone else could ever understand, just when I am feeling the most isolated and alone, I learn that someone else has felt this way or that I’m not the first one to feel this bad. And I don’t necessarily feel better, but at least I feel connected. At least I don’t feel so isolated, which I decided is the most important part of life anyway. I don’t mind the sadness as long as I’m not alone.” (How many 21-year-olds have this kind of insight? Seriously.) <BR/><BR/>By sharing your thoughts and feelings in the wake of such profound loss we are all drawn into deeper relationship with you and each other. We can feel your grief and walk beside you as you make sense of life after a senseless loss. Thank you for allowing us into your world and for strengthening these relationships. <BR/><BR/>Take care,<BR/>Cousin SaraAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6750188288819360388.post-75848267208682952972007-04-25T10:53:00.000-07:002007-04-25T10:53:00.000-07:00Lori-You just have a way with words. I am in awe ...Lori-<BR/><BR/>You just have a way with words. I am in awe of the strength that you have to even write humor right now. I read something the other day that made me think of you. This article was a similair situation as yours, and it said "I knew a mother's love was stronger than a mother's grief." Keep your faith in the Lord. We are all praying for your continued healing. <BR/><BR/>Love,<BR/><BR/>Dorothy GarciaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6750188288819360388.post-72537808679176865662007-04-24T14:10:00.000-07:002007-04-24T14:10:00.000-07:00Lori,I have not seen that movie but I can see how ...Lori,<BR/><BR/>I have not seen that movie but I can see how it would play out from your writing. Many people have mentioned this over the course of lillians illness and death and your new blog, you should write a book. Even if it is just a diary/blog , I dont want to say based, but i cant think of the word i am looking for, oh, yeah, style, I think that people, even those that are not families going through this particular situation, anyine wh has had a loss at anytime could and can relate to your writing.<BR/><BR/>We are behind you 100% in whatever you do!!! Your family LOVES you!!!<BR/><BR/>Jen, Sean, and AnaJenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01742792567673574822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6750188288819360388.post-1213611068627313522007-04-24T09:41:00.000-07:002007-04-24T09:41:00.000-07:00Lori,I have been reading your blog, unsure of how ...Lori,<BR/><BR/>I have been reading your blog, unsure of how to say hello, but when I read "The Bow" I knew I had to...I almost choked on my cereal I was laughing so hard. <BR/><BR/>You are so funny, and incredibly insightful. I too saw "The Gift', and agree that a smelly man (or any man) may not be on my radar while caring for my dying baby...however, I liked the message and family friendly rating. <BR/><BR/>I am always looking for that silver lining in life and have asked many times "where the hell is it"? My niece died 3 years ago, and I still don't see "The Bow" neatly tied around her death, maybe that is a weakness in me, maybe it takes longer than 3 years, maybe that is just life. I do know it is our story and good or bad I am glad to be in this one.<BR/><BR/>You don't ask for help, or even reassurance, but I want to tell you anyway that Lillian's life mattered to us, and so did her death. You may be looking for the difference your life can make from this, but she left a huge impact on this world. She is the silver lining in your story.<BR/><BR/>I have a theory about why children die, I believe that God sends them down, and then misses these precious babies so much, he has to call them back. Like taking your baby to daycare, by the end of the day you are running to greet them, now imagine years of missing them. I bet he really missed that sweet girl and was running to greet her.<BR/><BR/>Thank you for staying in touch with all of us, and please write a book someday...you are hysterical!!!<BR/><BR/>I am a really good coffee date if you need one!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com